I just want to thank everyone for doing this little project with Gram. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but she is almost back to her old self.
When I went to pick her up for our dinner date, she was dressed (and not in the red suit) and her hair was done. She had on new earrings and her jacket. I invited Harold to come with us but she wanted to do a girl's night.
I took her to Hires because I know that she is big into rootbeer lately and also that they had grilled cheese sandwiches. Our conversation in the car was so fun and pleasantly surprising; we didn't talk about the same things over and over like usual. She was cohereant and happy and joking around. When we got to Hires she decided that she wanted fish and chips and not grilled cheese. Then we joked and laughed and reminisced. I drove her home and was just so happy that we'd had such a great night.
I called my mom on my way home and told her what a great changed I had noticed and that I hoped it would continue. She told me about Gram's visit with Dr. Nelson the previous Thursday. The last time she'd seen Dr. Nelson he had asked her questions (What year is it? Who is the president? What's your address?) and to all of them she had answered that she didn't know. This time when Dr. Nelson asked her these questions she had a smart answer for each one (When he asked who was president she said Barrack Obama and that she was a democrat... good old Gram!)
Mom was surprised at the change too and asked Dr. Nelson if it was her new medication that was making such a positive difference. He said no, that medicine would help but it wouldn't cause such a dramatic change in such a short period of time. And then with tears in his eyes he said that he felt the change was due to having her family around her. He said how our visits and calls and time had made a change for the better in her health.
I just wanted to thank all of you (the ones that read the blog and the ones that don't) for all you are doing. I know that we are all busy with work, kids, church, and everything else but taking a day here and there to get with Gram is making her better. I know that people are doing lots for her, more than we know or hear about and I really appreciate it and I know she does too.
I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and I will see you for the Magna house clean-up!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
An Outing to the Local Reams....
When I walked into Coventry last night I went up to the desk. The nice guy there told me that Grams was in the dining room. I walked in to see that she and Grandpa were both there having dinner together. They were sitting in silence and were quite far apart. I didn't eat while I was there, but chatted with them as they finished up. Grams had ordered what looked like some sort of stuffed pork and mashed potatoes. I was glad to see it wasn't grilled cheese. She told me her mouth still bothers her, but she is noticing a huge difference since she got her new teeth.
She turned and whispered (as only Grams can whisper) that she needed to get out and away from Harold for a bit. It's a good thing Grandpa has a hard time hearing, anyone with normal hearing that was within a 10 mile radius could have heard her. :) And people wonder why we're all so dang loud...
Grandpa said he was going to stay in the dining room for a while, so we girls should go shopping and have a good time. As we walked to her room to get her jacket, Grams told me that she hasn't been happy with Harold lately. And that most nights she would rather be alone then have him there. I was surprised to hear that since the last time I visited she had no intention of ever sleeping there alone.
Anyway, we went down the street to the Reams and got the few things that were on her list. Everything she had on there was new, she wanted: stockings, stationary, chocolate, and some unmentionables. :) I limited the number of things she was putting in the cart, like her beloved chocolate bars. I only let her get three, even though she was worried she wouldn't get back to the store soon enough to get more. I assured her she would. We looked at some baking magazines, and laughed about some of the things we saw around the store. The outing was definitely the highlight of the night.
We got back to her room and she asked me to come sit by her on the couch. She held my hand and we watched the news on mute as Harold sat next to her zoned into the tv as well. I finally asked why on earth we were watching the news on mute, and especially since there were no subtitles running along the bottom. How did they know what was going on! Grandpa didn't respond, Grams seemed to let on that Harold liked it that way. I could barely hold in my laughter, I don't know how they know what is going on, maybe they are studying the art of lip-reading, I'm sure that's it.
Sorry I'm so long winded, I promise this is the closing paragraph. I just wanted to note that Grandpa never tried to talk about the family around me, I was glad of that. And that I think Grams could use some reminders that she needs to bathe daily. I guess she hates them now, but she wasn't her normal cleanly self. I'm not sure how to go about it, my mom says she gets very offended if you bring it up. Any ideas?
There you go... I'm finally done!
She turned and whispered (as only Grams can whisper) that she needed to get out and away from Harold for a bit. It's a good thing Grandpa has a hard time hearing, anyone with normal hearing that was within a 10 mile radius could have heard her. :) And people wonder why we're all so dang loud...
Grandpa said he was going to stay in the dining room for a while, so we girls should go shopping and have a good time. As we walked to her room to get her jacket, Grams told me that she hasn't been happy with Harold lately. And that most nights she would rather be alone then have him there. I was surprised to hear that since the last time I visited she had no intention of ever sleeping there alone.
Anyway, we went down the street to the Reams and got the few things that were on her list. Everything she had on there was new, she wanted: stockings, stationary, chocolate, and some unmentionables. :) I limited the number of things she was putting in the cart, like her beloved chocolate bars. I only let her get three, even though she was worried she wouldn't get back to the store soon enough to get more. I assured her she would. We looked at some baking magazines, and laughed about some of the things we saw around the store. The outing was definitely the highlight of the night.
We got back to her room and she asked me to come sit by her on the couch. She held my hand and we watched the news on mute as Harold sat next to her zoned into the tv as well. I finally asked why on earth we were watching the news on mute, and especially since there were no subtitles running along the bottom. How did they know what was going on! Grandpa didn't respond, Grams seemed to let on that Harold liked it that way. I could barely hold in my laughter, I don't know how they know what is going on, maybe they are studying the art of lip-reading, I'm sure that's it.
Sorry I'm so long winded, I promise this is the closing paragraph. I just wanted to note that Grandpa never tried to talk about the family around me, I was glad of that. And that I think Grams could use some reminders that she needs to bathe daily. I guess she hates them now, but she wasn't her normal cleanly self. I'm not sure how to go about it, my mom says she gets very offended if you bring it up. Any ideas?
There you go... I'm finally done!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Accentuate the Positive
Jeff and Amy visited Gram last night. They went to McDonalds with her and Harold and they had a nice dinner.
They went back to Gram's after dinner and sat and chatted a while. As they were talking Harold would bring up topics that were extremely negative. He talked about when he banned my mom from his house in Magna (yes he did do that if you didn't know) and then he talked about other members of our family and his personal issues with them. But the clincher was when he talked about how far gone he thought Gram was and how she is crazy. Jeff said that Gram hung her head and looked so ashamed when he talked about her like that. Amy had the good sense to get Jeff out of there before an argument ensued.
But I wanted to blog on this topic (even though it's not he happiest one) because I had a similar experience on one of my visits; Harold sat and bad-mouthed people in the family including Gram and I was extremely uncomfortable. I know that he is in constant pain with his stomach and that he is not happy that we moved Gram despite his protests. And if the truth be told he is not quite all there either. So the combination of all that makes him more sour than he used to be.
Jeff and I were talking and decided that the next time that situation comes up (and it will, unfortunately) we are going to ask him to change the subject and tell him not talk about those things. I think it can be said in a nice way and not disrespectfully; but firmly. And I think if we do it enough times, he might stop doing it.
So, I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else noticed the same thing. His personal issues are not the kind of thing we want to be taking back into our lives and families for sure. So, to steal the suggestion from Bing Crosby, we'll want to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. Harold Thomas.
They went back to Gram's after dinner and sat and chatted a while. As they were talking Harold would bring up topics that were extremely negative. He talked about when he banned my mom from his house in Magna (yes he did do that if you didn't know) and then he talked about other members of our family and his personal issues with them. But the clincher was when he talked about how far gone he thought Gram was and how she is crazy. Jeff said that Gram hung her head and looked so ashamed when he talked about her like that. Amy had the good sense to get Jeff out of there before an argument ensued.
But I wanted to blog on this topic (even though it's not he happiest one) because I had a similar experience on one of my visits; Harold sat and bad-mouthed people in the family including Gram and I was extremely uncomfortable. I know that he is in constant pain with his stomach and that he is not happy that we moved Gram despite his protests. And if the truth be told he is not quite all there either. So the combination of all that makes him more sour than he used to be.
Jeff and I were talking and decided that the next time that situation comes up (and it will, unfortunately) we are going to ask him to change the subject and tell him not talk about those things. I think it can be said in a nice way and not disrespectfully; but firmly. And I think if we do it enough times, he might stop doing it.
So, I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else noticed the same thing. His personal issues are not the kind of thing we want to be taking back into our lives and families for sure. So, to steal the suggestion from Bing Crosby, we'll want to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. Harold Thomas.
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