I just want to thank everyone for doing this little project with Gram. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but she is almost back to her old self.
When I went to pick her up for our dinner date, she was dressed (and not in the red suit) and her hair was done. She had on new earrings and her jacket. I invited Harold to come with us but she wanted to do a girl's night.
I took her to Hires because I know that she is big into rootbeer lately and also that they had grilled cheese sandwiches. Our conversation in the car was so fun and pleasantly surprising; we didn't talk about the same things over and over like usual. She was cohereant and happy and joking around. When we got to Hires she decided that she wanted fish and chips and not grilled cheese. Then we joked and laughed and reminisced. I drove her home and was just so happy that we'd had such a great night.
I called my mom on my way home and told her what a great changed I had noticed and that I hoped it would continue. She told me about Gram's visit with Dr. Nelson the previous Thursday. The last time she'd seen Dr. Nelson he had asked her questions (What year is it? Who is the president? What's your address?) and to all of them she had answered that she didn't know. This time when Dr. Nelson asked her these questions she had a smart answer for each one (When he asked who was president she said Barrack Obama and that she was a democrat... good old Gram!)
Mom was surprised at the change too and asked Dr. Nelson if it was her new medication that was making such a positive difference. He said no, that medicine would help but it wouldn't cause such a dramatic change in such a short period of time. And then with tears in his eyes he said that he felt the change was due to having her family around her. He said how our visits and calls and time had made a change for the better in her health.
I just wanted to thank all of you (the ones that read the blog and the ones that don't) for all you are doing. I know that we are all busy with work, kids, church, and everything else but taking a day here and there to get with Gram is making her better. I know that people are doing lots for her, more than we know or hear about and I really appreciate it and I know she does too.
I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and I will see you for the Magna house clean-up!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
An Outing to the Local Reams....
When I walked into Coventry last night I went up to the desk. The nice guy there told me that Grams was in the dining room. I walked in to see that she and Grandpa were both there having dinner together. They were sitting in silence and were quite far apart. I didn't eat while I was there, but chatted with them as they finished up. Grams had ordered what looked like some sort of stuffed pork and mashed potatoes. I was glad to see it wasn't grilled cheese. She told me her mouth still bothers her, but she is noticing a huge difference since she got her new teeth.
She turned and whispered (as only Grams can whisper) that she needed to get out and away from Harold for a bit. It's a good thing Grandpa has a hard time hearing, anyone with normal hearing that was within a 10 mile radius could have heard her. :) And people wonder why we're all so dang loud...
Grandpa said he was going to stay in the dining room for a while, so we girls should go shopping and have a good time. As we walked to her room to get her jacket, Grams told me that she hasn't been happy with Harold lately. And that most nights she would rather be alone then have him there. I was surprised to hear that since the last time I visited she had no intention of ever sleeping there alone.
Anyway, we went down the street to the Reams and got the few things that were on her list. Everything she had on there was new, she wanted: stockings, stationary, chocolate, and some unmentionables. :) I limited the number of things she was putting in the cart, like her beloved chocolate bars. I only let her get three, even though she was worried she wouldn't get back to the store soon enough to get more. I assured her she would. We looked at some baking magazines, and laughed about some of the things we saw around the store. The outing was definitely the highlight of the night.
We got back to her room and she asked me to come sit by her on the couch. She held my hand and we watched the news on mute as Harold sat next to her zoned into the tv as well. I finally asked why on earth we were watching the news on mute, and especially since there were no subtitles running along the bottom. How did they know what was going on! Grandpa didn't respond, Grams seemed to let on that Harold liked it that way. I could barely hold in my laughter, I don't know how they know what is going on, maybe they are studying the art of lip-reading, I'm sure that's it.
Sorry I'm so long winded, I promise this is the closing paragraph. I just wanted to note that Grandpa never tried to talk about the family around me, I was glad of that. And that I think Grams could use some reminders that she needs to bathe daily. I guess she hates them now, but she wasn't her normal cleanly self. I'm not sure how to go about it, my mom says she gets very offended if you bring it up. Any ideas?
There you go... I'm finally done!
She turned and whispered (as only Grams can whisper) that she needed to get out and away from Harold for a bit. It's a good thing Grandpa has a hard time hearing, anyone with normal hearing that was within a 10 mile radius could have heard her. :) And people wonder why we're all so dang loud...
Grandpa said he was going to stay in the dining room for a while, so we girls should go shopping and have a good time. As we walked to her room to get her jacket, Grams told me that she hasn't been happy with Harold lately. And that most nights she would rather be alone then have him there. I was surprised to hear that since the last time I visited she had no intention of ever sleeping there alone.
Anyway, we went down the street to the Reams and got the few things that were on her list. Everything she had on there was new, she wanted: stockings, stationary, chocolate, and some unmentionables. :) I limited the number of things she was putting in the cart, like her beloved chocolate bars. I only let her get three, even though she was worried she wouldn't get back to the store soon enough to get more. I assured her she would. We looked at some baking magazines, and laughed about some of the things we saw around the store. The outing was definitely the highlight of the night.
We got back to her room and she asked me to come sit by her on the couch. She held my hand and we watched the news on mute as Harold sat next to her zoned into the tv as well. I finally asked why on earth we were watching the news on mute, and especially since there were no subtitles running along the bottom. How did they know what was going on! Grandpa didn't respond, Grams seemed to let on that Harold liked it that way. I could barely hold in my laughter, I don't know how they know what is going on, maybe they are studying the art of lip-reading, I'm sure that's it.
Sorry I'm so long winded, I promise this is the closing paragraph. I just wanted to note that Grandpa never tried to talk about the family around me, I was glad of that. And that I think Grams could use some reminders that she needs to bathe daily. I guess she hates them now, but she wasn't her normal cleanly self. I'm not sure how to go about it, my mom says she gets very offended if you bring it up. Any ideas?
There you go... I'm finally done!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Accentuate the Positive
Jeff and Amy visited Gram last night. They went to McDonalds with her and Harold and they had a nice dinner.
They went back to Gram's after dinner and sat and chatted a while. As they were talking Harold would bring up topics that were extremely negative. He talked about when he banned my mom from his house in Magna (yes he did do that if you didn't know) and then he talked about other members of our family and his personal issues with them. But the clincher was when he talked about how far gone he thought Gram was and how she is crazy. Jeff said that Gram hung her head and looked so ashamed when he talked about her like that. Amy had the good sense to get Jeff out of there before an argument ensued.
But I wanted to blog on this topic (even though it's not he happiest one) because I had a similar experience on one of my visits; Harold sat and bad-mouthed people in the family including Gram and I was extremely uncomfortable. I know that he is in constant pain with his stomach and that he is not happy that we moved Gram despite his protests. And if the truth be told he is not quite all there either. So the combination of all that makes him more sour than he used to be.
Jeff and I were talking and decided that the next time that situation comes up (and it will, unfortunately) we are going to ask him to change the subject and tell him not talk about those things. I think it can be said in a nice way and not disrespectfully; but firmly. And I think if we do it enough times, he might stop doing it.
So, I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else noticed the same thing. His personal issues are not the kind of thing we want to be taking back into our lives and families for sure. So, to steal the suggestion from Bing Crosby, we'll want to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. Harold Thomas.
They went back to Gram's after dinner and sat and chatted a while. As they were talking Harold would bring up topics that were extremely negative. He talked about when he banned my mom from his house in Magna (yes he did do that if you didn't know) and then he talked about other members of our family and his personal issues with them. But the clincher was when he talked about how far gone he thought Gram was and how she is crazy. Jeff said that Gram hung her head and looked so ashamed when he talked about her like that. Amy had the good sense to get Jeff out of there before an argument ensued.
But I wanted to blog on this topic (even though it's not he happiest one) because I had a similar experience on one of my visits; Harold sat and bad-mouthed people in the family including Gram and I was extremely uncomfortable. I know that he is in constant pain with his stomach and that he is not happy that we moved Gram despite his protests. And if the truth be told he is not quite all there either. So the combination of all that makes him more sour than he used to be.
Jeff and I were talking and decided that the next time that situation comes up (and it will, unfortunately) we are going to ask him to change the subject and tell him not talk about those things. I think it can be said in a nice way and not disrespectfully; but firmly. And I think if we do it enough times, he might stop doing it.
So, I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else noticed the same thing. His personal issues are not the kind of thing we want to be taking back into our lives and families for sure. So, to steal the suggestion from Bing Crosby, we'll want to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. Harold Thomas.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Halloween Carnival
I walked into Coventry on Wednesday afternoon to a smell that was not 'Halloweenish' at all. You know, pumpkin, caramel, apples....nope, none of those frangrances. There was No Doubt that somewhere, someone was getting a Permanent. Dave, Colleen and I grew up in a home where that spell could be frequent during the time there was a Beauty Shop in our house. I walked up the stairs to the in-house hair salon. Yep, it was Hilda Thomas at the hair dressers.
However, her 1:00 pm appointment lasted much longer than she thought. She was not done until 4:00, so we missed Relief Society/Priesthood. I told her that she would need to schedule it on a different day next time, but she seemed a bit pleased with herself that she had missed it. She is getting a little more upbeat about it though, since "that lady from the Relief Society is here. I think she lives here", Grandma told me.
A woman who makes wonderful handmade chocolates was in the lobby. By the time I got there Grandma had already given the lady $20 and said "Fill up a bag with $20 worth." She would have gone back to purchase again many more times if I would not have been there. I reminded her that she had two bags and that was enough. The Chocolate Lady returns in November and December. Better lock Grandma in her room that day.
The Halloween Carnival was not what was expected.....at least for the kids. It wasn't a Carnival. Just a Halloween meal with a musical program. Greta (a cat) and Lily (a fairy) came with me and Chantelle brought Kallie (a ladybug) and Nathan (a bear, I think.) He didn't have the hood on but was so adorable as were the girls. The kids were disappointed. I will do my homework next time to find out if the event will be worth coming for the little ones.
We went back to Grandma's room where she and I gave the kids some Treats. Just before I left with a large bag of laundry to do Dave and Kelsey came to watch some of the Jazz game with her. It was a day that kept her busy.
However, her 1:00 pm appointment lasted much longer than she thought. She was not done until 4:00, so we missed Relief Society/Priesthood. I told her that she would need to schedule it on a different day next time, but she seemed a bit pleased with herself that she had missed it. She is getting a little more upbeat about it though, since "that lady from the Relief Society is here. I think she lives here", Grandma told me.
A woman who makes wonderful handmade chocolates was in the lobby. By the time I got there Grandma had already given the lady $20 and said "Fill up a bag with $20 worth." She would have gone back to purchase again many more times if I would not have been there. I reminded her that she had two bags and that was enough. The Chocolate Lady returns in November and December. Better lock Grandma in her room that day.
The Halloween Carnival was not what was expected.....at least for the kids. It wasn't a Carnival. Just a Halloween meal with a musical program. Greta (a cat) and Lily (a fairy) came with me and Chantelle brought Kallie (a ladybug) and Nathan (a bear, I think.) He didn't have the hood on but was so adorable as were the girls. The kids were disappointed. I will do my homework next time to find out if the event will be worth coming for the little ones.
We went back to Grandma's room where she and I gave the kids some Treats. Just before I left with a large bag of laundry to do Dave and Kelsey came to watch some of the Jazz game with her. It was a day that kept her busy.
Shopping Excursion
Mallory and I took Grandma shopping yesterday. When we got to her place she was in a good mood and showed us her knitting that she had started with her new "good" yarn. She was also excited to show us the Halloween decorations in the lobby. She told us about the Halloween carnival the night before and how fun it was to see all the little kids in their costumes. She could only remember that Lily was a fairy. She didn't know what Callie or Greta were, but they both had something on their head.
At our first store Grandma quickly found the chocolates. She also looked at the calendars for a while, but said they were too expensive. Then she went back and picked one up because she said they might be gone next time she looked for one. She also found a new sweater at the second store. She wanted a sweater with short sleeves, but we found one with 3/4 sleeves that she liked.
When I asked her what kind of food she wanted for lunch she said she would just look at the menu when we got there. When we actually got to the restaurant she glanced at the menu for a quick second and then said she wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, root beer, and ice cream. Thankfully they had a grilled cheese sandwich on the kids menu that she was able to get.
We also picked up some preparation H supplies for her at Walmart on the way home. It was a good day with Grandma.
At our first store Grandma quickly found the chocolates. She also looked at the calendars for a while, but said they were too expensive. Then she went back and picked one up because she said they might be gone next time she looked for one. She also found a new sweater at the second store. She wanted a sweater with short sleeves, but we found one with 3/4 sleeves that she liked.
When I asked her what kind of food she wanted for lunch she said she would just look at the menu when we got there. When we actually got to the restaurant she glanced at the menu for a quick second and then said she wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, root beer, and ice cream. Thankfully they had a grilled cheese sandwich on the kids menu that she was able to get.
We also picked up some preparation H supplies for her at Walmart on the way home. It was a good day with Grandma.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
2 Little Grumps...
I went to visit Grams last night. Cambria joined us for the first 30 minutes but then she had to leave for a previously scheduled engagement.
We ate dinner at the cafeteria and since I had never eaten there before I decided to get the same thing as Grams (a cup of fruit, a grilled cheese sandwich or "toasted bread and cheese" as Grams calls it; root beer; and chocolate ice cream). We chatted about her childhood and the snow and how windy it was on Sunday night. We also talked about the upcoming holidays and she mentioned that she is going to have Thanksgiving with my Mom and Kristen. I am not sure if Mom and Kristen are having Thanksgiving together, and since Grams didn't mention anyone else I had the odd picture in my mind of Grams, Colleen and Kristen sitting there eating a big Thanksgiving dinner, just the three of them. When I giggled a bit and tried to get clarification on where they were going to eat exactly, Grams did not think it was funny. She was not in a joking mood. She also brought up the fact that we will be getting the rest of her things out of the Magna house after Thanksgiving. She said "After that I am done." I said, "Done going back out to Magna?" and she said, "No, I am done with it all".
We finished up dinner and headed to her room. I asked if she wanted to watch a movie and she said, "Only if you'll watch it with me." I told her I could only watch the first hour of the movie and then I'd have to go. She told me to pick what I wanted to watch. I decided on Singing in the Rain since I love that show and the DVD hadn't been opened yet. I am not sure if it was just because she was in a bad mood, but she did NOT want to watch that movie. Every 2 or 3 , minutes she'd say something about how crazy that movie was. I was too grump at that point in time to try and talk her into enjoying the movie.
After being there for 2 1/2 hours I told her I had to leave for the night. She got very upset and asked me to stay a bit longer. I stayed for 5 more minutes and when I announced that I was going to leave again she asked me to stay again. We went back and forth for another 30 minutes. I finally told her that I really needed to leave and that I would come back soon. I looked at her calendar and told her that she would be seeing Jen the next day and that seemed to cheer her up a bit.
Sorry this was such a sad post. I love Grams so much and my entire life we have always had such a fun time together. It was sad to see her in a bad mood and I was sad that I couldn't pull her out of it.
On a final note, she did tell Cambria and I that she'd like more phone calls. She said that Harold's kids call him all the time, and Cambria asked if he got as many visitors as she does, and she said, "No, but I want more phone calls too." I think she's turning this into a little competition. So call her people :)
We ate dinner at the cafeteria and since I had never eaten there before I decided to get the same thing as Grams (a cup of fruit, a grilled cheese sandwich or "toasted bread and cheese" as Grams calls it; root beer; and chocolate ice cream). We chatted about her childhood and the snow and how windy it was on Sunday night. We also talked about the upcoming holidays and she mentioned that she is going to have Thanksgiving with my Mom and Kristen. I am not sure if Mom and Kristen are having Thanksgiving together, and since Grams didn't mention anyone else I had the odd picture in my mind of Grams, Colleen and Kristen sitting there eating a big Thanksgiving dinner, just the three of them. When I giggled a bit and tried to get clarification on where they were going to eat exactly, Grams did not think it was funny. She was not in a joking mood. She also brought up the fact that we will be getting the rest of her things out of the Magna house after Thanksgiving. She said "After that I am done." I said, "Done going back out to Magna?" and she said, "No, I am done with it all".
We finished up dinner and headed to her room. I asked if she wanted to watch a movie and she said, "Only if you'll watch it with me." I told her I could only watch the first hour of the movie and then I'd have to go. She told me to pick what I wanted to watch. I decided on Singing in the Rain since I love that show and the DVD hadn't been opened yet. I am not sure if it was just because she was in a bad mood, but she did NOT want to watch that movie. Every 2 or 3 , minutes she'd say something about how crazy that movie was. I was too grump at that point in time to try and talk her into enjoying the movie.
After being there for 2 1/2 hours I told her I had to leave for the night. She got very upset and asked me to stay a bit longer. I stayed for 5 more minutes and when I announced that I was going to leave again she asked me to stay again. We went back and forth for another 30 minutes. I finally told her that I really needed to leave and that I would come back soon. I looked at her calendar and told her that she would be seeing Jen the next day and that seemed to cheer her up a bit.
Sorry this was such a sad post. I love Grams so much and my entire life we have always had such a fun time together. It was sad to see her in a bad mood and I was sad that I couldn't pull her out of it.
On a final note, she did tell Cambria and I that she'd like more phone calls. She said that Harold's kids call him all the time, and Cambria asked if he got as many visitors as she does, and she said, "No, but I want more phone calls too." I think she's turning this into a little competition. So call her people :)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Three Days with Grandma
I am loving reading these blogs! They're not only a help to us now, but will be very dear to read in the future as we remember the sweet experiences we are having with Hilda.(-:
Visit #1: Friday, October 8th. When I arrived she had her hair newly styled, all dressed up and earrings on, too. (It is her newest fashion statement because all the other women wear earrings.) We were going shopping for a coat for the second time. Kristin had suggested Nordstroms Rack so I decided to try there first. It was the charm! Within 20 minutes we had found and paid for a darling gray wool coat, priced $250, and Grandma paid $79. Since we had gone to so many stores looking for coats the first time, we were both happy at the short shopping trip.
After shopping we had lunch in the dining room which turned out to be the least positive experience I have had there since I started my weekly visits. No, the food was good. But the little lady who joined Grandma and I at the dining table was a most negative person. She's lived there three years and had very little good to say about Coventry. Needless to say, I was anxious to get Grandma out of the dining room, so we took our dessert "to go" and went back to Grandma's apartment.
She wasn't in the mood to do anything, even a drive to see the Autumn leaves. She just wanted me to watch a movie with her, so we settled on the sofa together and watched "Dan in Real Life". I had hoped that watching a movie other than the ones she watches over and over would be a good change for her.
Visit #2: Wednesday, Oct. 13th was a beautiful day and when I arrived she was looking forward to go for a visit. To where? Colleen's office! She said she had not seen where Colleen worked. We wanted to surprise Colleen, so I curled and styled Grandma's hair and we were off. It was a great visit and Grandma seemed to really enjoy herself.
On our drive back to Coventry she said she did not want to go to Relief Society....she had insisted two weeks earlier she didn't want to go even though I was there to go with her. She said she just wanted to go get some chocolate. I told her we would get some chocolate after Relief Society, but she said, no, she didn't want to go. Finally I said, "I'll tell Dave," and she said, "Okay, I'll go to Relief Society." (I found the magic bullet.) I kept my promise and took her to get Hershey bars after Relief Society.
Visit #3: Friday, October 22: When I arrived yesterday it was Friday, so her hair was all styled and cute. She was excited to talk about her grandchildren. First, she loved the visit from Cambria, Marissa and little Peach. She said how adorable that little one was! Then she had a great visit with Chantelle and her little Nathan earlier that morning. They went around Coventry to see all the Halloween decorations and she said Nathan was so cute as he saw them "come to life". She wanted me to see the Halloween card and pictures that she had received from Jenny's family and was so happy about Kristin's news of Grandma's 20th Great-Grandchild due in June.
Eating lunch in the dining room with Grandma is so fun when Jose is a server. He calls out "Hilda!", and she laughs. Then he brings her out her order before she even orders it. She just adores the sweet kindness that he shows her and I have thanked him so much for that.
Getting her to branch out more within the Coventry community was my plan for the afternoon. I had brought my set of dominos and told her we were going to play 'Chicken'. After lunch we went up to the third floor in the Library area where there is a very nice sitting area and a table and chairs by the french doors for natural light. When Grandma heard that we were going to play Chicken, she invited Pamela, the PR Lady, to join us. Her schedule was so busy but she made time for one game with us. While we were playing, a resident named Reva saw us and came to watch. Grandma was in her element, and won all three games! I told Pamela they should add another game day called "Chicken" with Hilda.
Grandma shared something with me last week that I wanted to pass on. She commented on how Harold gets phone calls from his family all the time. I think she loves it when the phone rings. It brings joy to her. I've increased my phone calls since then.
Also, Grandma loves to receive a card. She displays them for all to see. She loves to check her mailbox to see if there is anything there for her. I know that sending her cards during the different seasons, like Halloween right now, would be so appreciated.
And for anyone living in Utah, there is a Halloween Carnival for the Coventry Residents and their families this coming Wednesday, October 27th at 6:30 pm. If you want to eat the chili dinner it is $7 per person. Or you can just come for the carnival, bring the kids in costume and enjoy the activities for a short time. Grandma would love it.
Visit #1: Friday, October 8th. When I arrived she had her hair newly styled, all dressed up and earrings on, too. (It is her newest fashion statement because all the other women wear earrings.) We were going shopping for a coat for the second time. Kristin had suggested Nordstroms Rack so I decided to try there first. It was the charm! Within 20 minutes we had found and paid for a darling gray wool coat, priced $250, and Grandma paid $79. Since we had gone to so many stores looking for coats the first time, we were both happy at the short shopping trip.
After shopping we had lunch in the dining room which turned out to be the least positive experience I have had there since I started my weekly visits. No, the food was good. But the little lady who joined Grandma and I at the dining table was a most negative person. She's lived there three years and had very little good to say about Coventry. Needless to say, I was anxious to get Grandma out of the dining room, so we took our dessert "to go" and went back to Grandma's apartment.
She wasn't in the mood to do anything, even a drive to see the Autumn leaves. She just wanted me to watch a movie with her, so we settled on the sofa together and watched "Dan in Real Life". I had hoped that watching a movie other than the ones she watches over and over would be a good change for her.
Visit #2: Wednesday, Oct. 13th was a beautiful day and when I arrived she was looking forward to go for a visit. To where? Colleen's office! She said she had not seen where Colleen worked. We wanted to surprise Colleen, so I curled and styled Grandma's hair and we were off. It was a great visit and Grandma seemed to really enjoy herself.
On our drive back to Coventry she said she did not want to go to Relief Society....she had insisted two weeks earlier she didn't want to go even though I was there to go with her. She said she just wanted to go get some chocolate. I told her we would get some chocolate after Relief Society, but she said, no, she didn't want to go. Finally I said, "I'll tell Dave," and she said, "Okay, I'll go to Relief Society." (I found the magic bullet.) I kept my promise and took her to get Hershey bars after Relief Society.
Visit #3: Friday, October 22: When I arrived yesterday it was Friday, so her hair was all styled and cute. She was excited to talk about her grandchildren. First, she loved the visit from Cambria, Marissa and little Peach. She said how adorable that little one was! Then she had a great visit with Chantelle and her little Nathan earlier that morning. They went around Coventry to see all the Halloween decorations and she said Nathan was so cute as he saw them "come to life". She wanted me to see the Halloween card and pictures that she had received from Jenny's family and was so happy about Kristin's news of Grandma's 20th Great-Grandchild due in June.
Eating lunch in the dining room with Grandma is so fun when Jose is a server. He calls out "Hilda!", and she laughs. Then he brings her out her order before she even orders it. She just adores the sweet kindness that he shows her and I have thanked him so much for that.
Getting her to branch out more within the Coventry community was my plan for the afternoon. I had brought my set of dominos and told her we were going to play 'Chicken'. After lunch we went up to the third floor in the Library area where there is a very nice sitting area and a table and chairs by the french doors for natural light. When Grandma heard that we were going to play Chicken, she invited Pamela, the PR Lady, to join us. Her schedule was so busy but she made time for one game with us. While we were playing, a resident named Reva saw us and came to watch. Grandma was in her element, and won all three games! I told Pamela they should add another game day called "Chicken" with Hilda.
Grandma shared something with me last week that I wanted to pass on. She commented on how Harold gets phone calls from his family all the time. I think she loves it when the phone rings. It brings joy to her. I've increased my phone calls since then.
Also, Grandma loves to receive a card. She displays them for all to see. She loves to check her mailbox to see if there is anything there for her. I know that sending her cards during the different seasons, like Halloween right now, would be so appreciated.
And for anyone living in Utah, there is a Halloween Carnival for the Coventry Residents and their families this coming Wednesday, October 27th at 6:30 pm. If you want to eat the chili dinner it is $7 per person. Or you can just come for the carnival, bring the kids in costume and enjoy the activities for a short time. Grandma would love it.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sleeping Pills and Cheiko Okazaki
Marissa and I went to visit Grandma yesterday and we took the Peach with us. When we got there Gram was in the Dining Room because one of the new residents was having a birthday party. Gram was in there at a table with some friends and Miss and I sat down and met them. Everyone there was really nice and the baby was keeping everyone entertained.
The lady who was having the birthday was a new resident, an adorable white-haired Japanese lady named Cheiko. In addition to the cake that Coventry had for her, Cheiko bought eclairs for all the residents (Gram took three back to her room with her.) We all sang Happy Birthday to her and I didn't think much more about it.
When we got back to Gram's room, there was a flier to remind everyone about the birthday party and it said that the birthday girl was Cheiko Okazaki. She is the new resident at Coventry! So I told Gram that if this place was good enough for Cheiko Okazaki, she was in good company :)
Miss and I put on the Sound of Music and I made some kind of joke about how Gram is obsessed with South Pacific. Without missing a beat, Gram started singing "Some enchanted ceiling..." Miss and I looked at each other and laughed so hard. I think that is going to be my next song creation :)
While we were there Gram kept asking us to get her some more sleeping pills. Unisom is her brand of choice. We said we would stop by the store and get her some. Then she said that she really needed to go shopping for some winter shoes. I looked down at her feet and she was wearing sandals. So we said yes, of course, we will take her shoe shopping to get some new shoes.
After we left, I called my mom to tell her about our fun visit and that we met Cheiko Okazaki and didn't even know it. When I told her that we were going to pick her up some sleeping pills she said, "No, she has lots of bottles in her bathroom; she doesnt need anymore." I guess Gram has a full supply of pills and just forgets that they are there. She just sees an empty bottle and figures she needs more and doesn't remember that she has other bottles waiting for her. When I told her about the shoes, mom laughed and said that she and Kathy have taken her on several shopping trips recently and she has new shoes, and new coat and several other new items.
So family, I think the best thing to do when Gram tells you she needs something is to always check with Kathy, Dave, or Colleen before you buy something for her. It sounds like she is forgetting about her new stuff. Other than that, Gram is happy and doing better and better each day. She loves her new hair stylist and she LOVES the Halloween decorations that Jen came and put up in her house.
The November calendar is coming this week so that we can keep this great momentum going.
Love you, family!
Cambria
The lady who was having the birthday was a new resident, an adorable white-haired Japanese lady named Cheiko. In addition to the cake that Coventry had for her, Cheiko bought eclairs for all the residents (Gram took three back to her room with her.) We all sang Happy Birthday to her and I didn't think much more about it.
When we got back to Gram's room, there was a flier to remind everyone about the birthday party and it said that the birthday girl was Cheiko Okazaki. She is the new resident at Coventry! So I told Gram that if this place was good enough for Cheiko Okazaki, she was in good company :)
Miss and I put on the Sound of Music and I made some kind of joke about how Gram is obsessed with South Pacific. Without missing a beat, Gram started singing "Some enchanted ceiling..." Miss and I looked at each other and laughed so hard. I think that is going to be my next song creation :)
While we were there Gram kept asking us to get her some more sleeping pills. Unisom is her brand of choice. We said we would stop by the store and get her some. Then she said that she really needed to go shopping for some winter shoes. I looked down at her feet and she was wearing sandals. So we said yes, of course, we will take her shoe shopping to get some new shoes.
After we left, I called my mom to tell her about our fun visit and that we met Cheiko Okazaki and didn't even know it. When I told her that we were going to pick her up some sleeping pills she said, "No, she has lots of bottles in her bathroom; she doesnt need anymore." I guess Gram has a full supply of pills and just forgets that they are there. She just sees an empty bottle and figures she needs more and doesn't remember that she has other bottles waiting for her. When I told her about the shoes, mom laughed and said that she and Kathy have taken her on several shopping trips recently and she has new shoes, and new coat and several other new items.
So family, I think the best thing to do when Gram tells you she needs something is to always check with Kathy, Dave, or Colleen before you buy something for her. It sounds like she is forgetting about her new stuff. Other than that, Gram is happy and doing better and better each day. She loves her new hair stylist and she LOVES the Halloween decorations that Jen came and put up in her house.
The November calendar is coming this week so that we can keep this great momentum going.
Love you, family!
Cambria
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Happier Hilda
I had a great visit on the phone with Grandma yesterday afternoon. I hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks & she seemed happier & more optimistic than I have heard her in a long time. When I called I made her guess who I was & she got it right! :) She told me that living at Coventry is getting better... she likes having someone clean her house and she likes the food. But she told me she especially loves seeing family so much more than she did when she was way out in Magna. She told me fun stories of those who have visited her recently & I could tell how much she treasures those times. (And she also loves phone calls. I think we all need to give Grandma a quick call more often.) Thanks to those of you in Utah that are taking such good care of Grandma! She sounds like such a different person from when I saw her last at Mallory's wedding. She has come alive again!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
What happened?
I've been so disappointed lately in the lack of posts. Has everyone stopped visiting and calling Grandma? Obviously, I know thats not the case, but I have loved being able to stay up to date on things with how Grandma is doing. I've found it so helpful in knowing what to expect when I've gone to see her, and in general I enjoy the information. Please post when you visit or talk to Grandma. It doesn't have to be more than three sentences, but I've missed the updates. If you find it challenging to keep up, e-mail me a couple of notes and I will be happy to post it for you.
Happy Autumn!
Happy Autumn!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Bob's Birthday
I figured I would post a little note about our outing with Grams last Thursday, October 7. It was my Dad's birthday, and as such he wanted us all to go out to dinner with him. I asked him if he would like Grams to come along and he said "YES!" of couse. So Cambria went and picked her up and brought her to dinner.It was all 6 of us, my dad, Joyce, and 5 significant others, and Grams. My dad sat next to Grams, and I kept thinking how amazing it was that my 80-some-odd year old grandma had better hearing then my 56 year old dad. Then I realized Grams isn't much of a rock and roller, or a hunter like my dad, which is probably why they are both in the boat they are in.
Anyway, Cambria told Grams that she would just order something for her. But being the stubborn woman she is, she wanted to look at the menu and decide for herself. Now, I don't think you can go wrong with anything from the California Pizza Kitchen, except for one thing. I have always thought the Cheeseburger Pizza looks awful! Lettuce on a pizza?! NO THANK YOU! Of course Grams took one peak at the menu, saw the word cheeseburger, and said that's what she wanted. Cam tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't hear of it.
Sadlly, I think Grams only had one bite and called it quits. She did, however, have her regular root beer. Only she didn't finish off the meal with a chocolate shake. That is, as long as she didn't convince Ryan to stop by and pick one up for her as he so kindly drove her home. I haven't asked. :)I love that Grams and my dad have always had such a close relationship. It meant the world to him to have her there, and to still be a part of our family. Thanks to all of you for making sure he still feels that way. It means a lot to him, and to us.
P.S. This post is probably pretty boring, but I decided to post it anyway....
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Answered Prayer
When I arrived at Grandma's today it was just after noon, so I planned to go eat lunch with her at the cafeteria. However, when I got to her room she told me she couldn't find her glasses. This was really bothering her and she kept repeating the same things about how people would think she had lost her mind and get mad at her for losing them. I figured I would be able to find them very quickly since her place isn't that big, but they were no where to be found.
I convinced her that we should go eat and then look for them again when we got back. At lunch she kept repeating that she just really wanted to find her glasses. I told her she wasn't crazy and told her all of my stories about losing things and how it frustrated Marc. At lunch we sat with an retired couple as well as a very quiet woman with a walker. She kept saying how much better off she was than most people there (a little too loud too). I told her that I thought they all looked great and how nice it must be for her to not have to cook. She loved that Jose, the waiter, knew her name and new what her regular order was--grilled cheese sandwich, root beer, and chocolate ice cream.
When we came back we began hunting for her glasses again. They weren't at the front desk and she had them the night before so we knew they had to be in the apartment. She said that she had told Harold on the phone that morning that she had lost them and he said that he would pray she would find them. With that reminder I figured I should say a little prayer too. We were both in her room looking when I glanced in the closet and then turned back around to find them sitting nicely on her bed. It surprised me so much I looked at Grandma wondering if she had been playing some game hiding them from me. But there they were in plain site. She was so relieved and got a bit emotional. She kept thanking me but I kept telling her it wasn't me. I told her that Harold must have great faith because it really was an answer to his and our prayers.
After that she was much more at ease, and she re-taught me how to knit. It took me a while to catch on, but I finally got it. She was so proud of me. Now I just have to learn how to start a row. We kept knitting until Dave picked her up for her dentist appointment. I left with a greater appreciation for prayer and Grandma's great faith.
I convinced her that we should go eat and then look for them again when we got back. At lunch she kept repeating that she just really wanted to find her glasses. I told her she wasn't crazy and told her all of my stories about losing things and how it frustrated Marc. At lunch we sat with an retired couple as well as a very quiet woman with a walker. She kept saying how much better off she was than most people there (a little too loud too). I told her that I thought they all looked great and how nice it must be for her to not have to cook. She loved that Jose, the waiter, knew her name and new what her regular order was--grilled cheese sandwich, root beer, and chocolate ice cream.
When we came back we began hunting for her glasses again. They weren't at the front desk and she had them the night before so we knew they had to be in the apartment. She said that she had told Harold on the phone that morning that she had lost them and he said that he would pray she would find them. With that reminder I figured I should say a little prayer too. We were both in her room looking when I glanced in the closet and then turned back around to find them sitting nicely on her bed. It surprised me so much I looked at Grandma wondering if she had been playing some game hiding them from me. But there they were in plain site. She was so relieved and got a bit emotional. She kept thanking me but I kept telling her it wasn't me. I told her that Harold must have great faith because it really was an answer to his and our prayers.
After that she was much more at ease, and she re-taught me how to knit. It took me a while to catch on, but I finally got it. She was so proud of me. Now I just have to learn how to start a row. We kept knitting until Dave picked her up for her dentist appointment. I left with a greater appreciation for prayer and Grandma's great faith.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Back to the Temple
Grandma and I weren't sure how long it has been since she had experienced a temple session, but we guessed maybe five years. Probably when Andrew or Marcee prepared for their missions, so it was no wonder she was a bit nervous about going. Nevertheless, she was dressed and ready with recommend in hand when I arrived Friday morning at 9:45 am.
Upon arriving at the Jordan River Temple we found it already busy with wedding groups. In the dressing room she was a little concerned on how she should dress but it all turned out well. We were able to get right in to the next session and had a wonderful experience together.
On our way back to the dressing room and throughout the afternoon she commented on how she couldn't believe how much she had forgotten. "I used to be a Temple Worker. I should know!" I reminded her that it had been quite some time since she had been there and how I thought she did quite well. I told her we would come back more often so that she could remember.
From there we went to the Fashion Place Mall. She has wanted to buy a coat for a year. First we stopped in at Nordstoms to see Mallory working and found we had just missed Jenny. Then we went to the food court and shared a chinese lunch while Mallory had grilled chicken. Of course, she wanted a chocolate shake for dessert.
Then we began our trek from store to store: Maceys, Sears, Dillards..... not one of them had long dress coats for winter. They were all short coats. The sales woman did show us one longer black coat that was not pretty but the tag read $699. Talk about sticker shock. Then we found out it was a cashmere coat. It still was ugly. We plan on going to Burlington Coat Factory when I come on Wednesday.
Back to her apartment we found that the day had really sped by. We changed the sheets and did a bit of housekeeping. But then some saddness set in for me. She had been very engaged and alert most of the day. However, when we arrived at her place she became confused and quiet again. Things seemed disjointed and unclear to her. She repeated things again and again. I kissed her good-bye about 5:45 pm, took the two laundry bags and told her I would be back Wednesday. She sat on the couch watching the news as I left, and I realized what Colleen had told me was right. With dementia, a person can go from clarity to confusion in a short time. I saw that happen. I was so glad I had the first part of the day to make memories.
Upon arriving at the Jordan River Temple we found it already busy with wedding groups. In the dressing room she was a little concerned on how she should dress but it all turned out well. We were able to get right in to the next session and had a wonderful experience together.
On our way back to the dressing room and throughout the afternoon she commented on how she couldn't believe how much she had forgotten. "I used to be a Temple Worker. I should know!" I reminded her that it had been quite some time since she had been there and how I thought she did quite well. I told her we would come back more often so that she could remember.
From there we went to the Fashion Place Mall. She has wanted to buy a coat for a year. First we stopped in at Nordstoms to see Mallory working and found we had just missed Jenny. Then we went to the food court and shared a chinese lunch while Mallory had grilled chicken. Of course, she wanted a chocolate shake for dessert.
Then we began our trek from store to store: Maceys, Sears, Dillards..... not one of them had long dress coats for winter. They were all short coats. The sales woman did show us one longer black coat that was not pretty but the tag read $699. Talk about sticker shock. Then we found out it was a cashmere coat. It still was ugly. We plan on going to Burlington Coat Factory when I come on Wednesday.
Back to her apartment we found that the day had really sped by. We changed the sheets and did a bit of housekeeping. But then some saddness set in for me. She had been very engaged and alert most of the day. However, when we arrived at her place she became confused and quiet again. Things seemed disjointed and unclear to her. She repeated things again and again. I kissed her good-bye about 5:45 pm, took the two laundry bags and told her I would be back Wednesday. She sat on the couch watching the news as I left, and I realized what Colleen had told me was right. With dementia, a person can go from clarity to confusion in a short time. I saw that happen. I was so glad I had the first part of the day to make memories.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Livin' it up with Hilda
Realizing I only had about 20 minutes for a visit with Grandma yesterday, I decided to call her and ask her to accompany me to an appointment I had on Highland Dr. in the afternoon. At first she said that she'd already been out to see the dentist with Dave in the morning. So I just talked with her for a while as I drove. At the end of the phone call she said she'd changed her mind and that she did want to go with me.
When I got to Coventry she was all ready with her shoes and bag. (Hanging the pictures on the wall really made a difference to the sitting area, Colleen). The appointment I had was for acupuncture, so I warned Grandma about all the needles. She asked if they did flu shots there, too. LOL.
When we arrived she was all talkative and bubbly with the people in the office. I found it to be very humorous. She was eager to add to the conversation. While I was talking to the doc and receptionist about the race I'd run over the weekend, she kept interrupting to tell us about foot races she ran when she was a child in Oakley. It was a good reminder to me how much I need to keep her the center of attention when I'm with her. Everyone in the office was very sweet to her. I was surprised how much she loved being there.
I was going to take her right home afterward because I needed to get the kids from school. But, I have to admit that she tricked me into getting her a chocolate shake. I say "tricked" because I hadn't read Megan's post yet, and I was under the impression that she hadn't had one for several days. LOL. I should have known better. I will be stronger against her pressures in the future, assuming that someone else will have gotten her a shake ;-)
When I got to Coventry she was all ready with her shoes and bag. (Hanging the pictures on the wall really made a difference to the sitting area, Colleen). The appointment I had was for acupuncture, so I warned Grandma about all the needles. She asked if they did flu shots there, too. LOL.
When we arrived she was all talkative and bubbly with the people in the office. I found it to be very humorous. She was eager to add to the conversation. While I was talking to the doc and receptionist about the race I'd run over the weekend, she kept interrupting to tell us about foot races she ran when she was a child in Oakley. It was a good reminder to me how much I need to keep her the center of attention when I'm with her. Everyone in the office was very sweet to her. I was surprised how much she loved being there.
I was going to take her right home afterward because I needed to get the kids from school. But, I have to admit that she tricked me into getting her a chocolate shake. I say "tricked" because I hadn't read Megan's post yet, and I was under the impression that she hadn't had one for several days. LOL. I should have known better. I will be stronger against her pressures in the future, assuming that someone else will have gotten her a shake ;-)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A phone chat... twice
I phoned Grandma yesterday afternoon and she picked right up and was chipper and enthusiastic from the start. She was reading a magazine and had just come back from having lunch in the dining room. She wasn't as talkative as she has been over the last few months when I've called. I asked how she was enjoying her new home... She said it is a beautiful apartment with a great television. But, she still isn't happy there. In her words, there are lots of wheelchairs and walkers and she is normal and doesn't belong with them. But, she did have some nice things to say about her ward.
Grandma mentioned that Harold has been staying almost every night and how happy that has made her. She said she was just re-reading the birthday card Harold gave her last month and in it he told her that he loved her. She told me he had gone on Saturday to baptize one of his grandkids and she hadn't heard from him since and added that he better get back there that night or his name was going to be mud! (I was happy to hear in Megan's update that he did.)
Grandma mentioned that Harold has been staying almost every night and how happy that has made her. She said she was just re-reading the birthday card Harold gave her last month and in it he told her that he loved her. She told me he had gone on Saturday to baptize one of his grandkids and she hadn't heard from him since and added that he better get back there that night or his name was going to be mud! (I was happy to hear in Megan's update that he did.)
We talked about how Gabriel is turning 1 year old this week. She asked if she had sent him a card. I told her I hadn't received one, but that it was still a few days away. Did she remember sending one? She didn't think she had, so was going to do it right then while we were talking.
A few hours later when I went to get my mail, low and behold, there was a birthday card for Gabe from Grandma! So, I phoned her back:
"Grandma, it's Kristin."
"Why again?", she asked. (I thought she'd be thrilled to get another call from me so soon! ;)
I told her that my mail arrives and that she HAD sent Gabe a card. She laughed & said it was too late, she'd already mailed another... and laughed again and said she's losing her mind. I told her not to worry... we'd just enjoy the double birthday wishes.
"Grandma, it's Kristin."
"Why again?", she asked. (I thought she'd be thrilled to get another call from me so soon! ;)
I told her that my mail arrives and that she HAD sent Gabe a card. She laughed & said it was too late, she'd already mailed another... and laughed again and said she's losing her mind. I told her not to worry... we'd just enjoy the double birthday wishes.
Ding Bats
Chels and I had our evening with Grams last night. As I drove over to meet Chels at Grams' new place I was a little nervous to be honest. The last time I saw her and spoke to her was at Mallory's wedding and she certainly wasn't her good ol' cheery self.
We showed her the board that hangs in every 5 Guys that states what part of Idaho they got the potatoes from that day. She thought that was fabulous. And, she loved that they had bags of potatoes lining the tables. She told us how she used to move bags of potatoes to earn money when she was young. Chels and I told her that she is so dang tuff and she laughed at us. She at about 90% of her cheeseburger, and we all voted on the fact that we would skip the fries so we could have ice cream after our burgers.
Part way through the movie mom called and said that Harold was at Uncle Dave's waiting for us to leave. We told Grams we would go so that he could come over and she said "Oh pooh!" And then said that she wanted us to stay a while longer, Harold could wait if he was going to be like that. We stayed another 20 minutes and then told her we better head. It was about 7:45 then.
I know I rambled on and on, I apologize for the length. But I was just so happy to see Grams as her old self. We laughed the entire time, and called each other "ding bats" as we always have. I left in the best mood I've been in for a very long time. I've missed seeing my Grams like her old self, and it was so good to remember that feeling I get when I'm around her. Chels and I are definitely looking forward to our next visit.
The moment she opened the door and saw Chels and I all of my nerves washed away. She greeted us with open arms and a huge squeeze. We asked her if she had eaten (it was 5:30) and she said "no." We then asked if she would like to eat in the cafeteria, or if she would rather go to 5 Guys Burgers and Fries with us. She was hesitant to give her opinion, but eventually she fessed up and said she would really like to get a burger.
We showed her the board that hangs in every 5 Guys that states what part of Idaho they got the potatoes from that day. She thought that was fabulous. And, she loved that they had bags of potatoes lining the tables. She told us how she used to move bags of potatoes to earn money when she was young. Chels and I told her that she is so dang tuff and she laughed at us. She at about 90% of her cheeseburger, and we all voted on the fact that we would skip the fries so we could have ice cream after our burgers.We got 3 hot fudge shakes and headed back to her place to watch a movie and enjoy our treats. Oklahoma was the movie we ended up on. Chels and I were so shocked at the things Grams found funny. The red pantaloons that the peddler tried to sell the ladies were by far the thing that sent her into a laughter. She had tears streaming down her face even. She asked me to get up and dance for her several times throughout the movie (why she never asked Chels is beyond me). I finally got up and sang in my best-joking opera voice right along with Milly and she got a kick out of it.
Part way through the movie mom called and said that Harold was at Uncle Dave's waiting for us to leave. We told Grams we would go so that he could come over and she said "Oh pooh!" And then said that she wanted us to stay a while longer, Harold could wait if he was going to be like that. We stayed another 20 minutes and then told her we better head. It was about 7:45 then.I know I rambled on and on, I apologize for the length. But I was just so happy to see Grams as her old self. We laughed the entire time, and called each other "ding bats" as we always have. I left in the best mood I've been in for a very long time. I've missed seeing my Grams like her old self, and it was so good to remember that feeling I get when I'm around her. Chels and I are definitely looking forward to our next visit. Monday, September 20, 2010
South Pacific
So I noticed the other day that Mountain View high school in Orem is putting on South Pacific November 18-20. I have no idea if they even have a decent theater program, but I'm sure Grandma would love to see it anyway. I'll talk to her about it and see if Harold would like to come down as well. If anyone else is interested in coming let me know. I still have to check on the times and cost for tickets.
And just a side note, I have really loved being able to read all of these updates about Grandma. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping us informed. Hopefully we can all get on the bandwagon (including me)!
And just a side note, I have really loved being able to read all of these updates about Grandma. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping us informed. Hopefully we can all get on the bandwagon (including me)!
Cambria blogging for Colleen (the techno challenged)
My mom visited Grandma this weekend and had a good time with her on Saturday and Sunday. They had lunch together on Saturday and had a good visit. They put up some pictures in her apartment and got things more organized for her. One thing mom did say was that she bought Gram some tide and bounce and a laundry basket so that she could do her laundry there in the laundry room instead people having to take it for her and bring it back. So if you visit, maybe just check her laundry basket and throw a load in for her if need be.
When mom got ready to go Gram wasn't doing as good because Harold wasn't going to sleep over that night and she started the "go ahead and leave and i'll just die here" thing. So, cute Matt had a sleep over with her on Saturday night and had a fun time with her on Sunday morning. I guess he thought the cafeteria was awesome and he liked having breakfast there. There had been some discussion that maybe she could have slept over at someone's house but I think the concern is that if we keep letting her leave, she will never adjust and start to think of that as her home. Matt is such a great kid to help out :)
Sunday mom took Gram out in the sitting area in the foyer after church and played the piano for her. Gram had to introduce her to all the people that stopped to listen. Mom also taked with one of the managers there who commended our family for all the visits; we have definitely made a difference in how well she is doing. But she wanted to remind us to sign-in at the front desk when we are there so that they can keep track of everyone and everything. I went there once and no one was at the front desk so I just signed the visitor list and called it good.
I am going to sit down with mom and show her how this blogging works, but for now I don't mind being her ghost writer :)
When mom got ready to go Gram wasn't doing as good because Harold wasn't going to sleep over that night and she started the "go ahead and leave and i'll just die here" thing. So, cute Matt had a sleep over with her on Saturday night and had a fun time with her on Sunday morning. I guess he thought the cafeteria was awesome and he liked having breakfast there. There had been some discussion that maybe she could have slept over at someone's house but I think the concern is that if we keep letting her leave, she will never adjust and start to think of that as her home. Matt is such a great kid to help out :)
Sunday mom took Gram out in the sitting area in the foyer after church and played the piano for her. Gram had to introduce her to all the people that stopped to listen. Mom also taked with one of the managers there who commended our family for all the visits; we have definitely made a difference in how well she is doing. But she wanted to remind us to sign-in at the front desk when we are there so that they can keep track of everyone and everything. I went there once and no one was at the front desk so I just signed the visitor list and called it good.
I am going to sit down with mom and show her how this blogging works, but for now I don't mind being her ghost writer :)
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Lily visits Hilda
Lil and I had a short 45-minute visit with Grandma yesterday (Friday). She was watching TV and asked me to teach her how to turn on the DVD player as soon as I entered the room. I'm sure several others have already shown her how to use the machine. I ended up writing the directions down on some paper, though I don't know how helpful my directions are going to be for her.
I tried to get her to do some knitting while I was there; she'd done one row. I asked her to re-teach me how to knit in the hopes that by explaining/showing she would better remember what Cambria had taught her last week. She wasn't interested in knitting right then; only wanted to watch The King and I with Lily. We only had a few minutes to watch the show before I needed to take Lily to kindergarten, but I was almost ecstatic about the fact that she was wanting to watch something besides South Pacific, and so the five year-old and the eighty-two year-old enjoyed some singing in Siam.
I tried to get her to do some knitting while I was there; she'd done one row. I asked her to re-teach me how to knit in the hopes that by explaining/showing she would better remember what Cambria had taught her last week. She wasn't interested in knitting right then; only wanted to watch The King and I with Lily. We only had a few minutes to watch the show before I needed to take Lily to kindergarten, but I was almost ecstatic about the fact that she was wanting to watch something besides South Pacific, and so the five year-old and the eighty-two year-old enjoyed some singing in Siam.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Relief Society- The Way It Used To Be
I arrived on Wednesday afternoon and was greeted by Grandma with her hair combed (she did it by herself and it looked quite presentable), lipstick on, wearing a red dress, nylons and dress shoes. She was ready for Relief Society! They have it every Wednesday afternoon at 3:00 pm. It brought back memories of decades ago when Relief Society was always held midweek.
She had forgotten that I was coming so she had asked Dave to go with her. I thought how sweet that Dave would go to Relief Society with his cute, little Mom. He arrived shortly before 3:00 and I told him that I would go with her. Before he left he told us that Kelsey would be joining us. I had brought a skirt in the car in case she was up to going to the Temple, so I dressed for the meeting and we went to Relief Society. Cute Kelsey joined us and sitting there together it was wonderful to realize there were three generations together.
It was a great meeting with a wonderful lesson on Faith tuaght by a gentleman who is a senior missionary. I learned that the meeting is actually combined Priesthood/Relief Society. Grandma seemed fully engaged. Though she was too timid to participate she would make comments to Kelsey or I. I introduced myself to a couple of ladies who I felt could become supportive friends to Grandma. On my next visit I plan to take Grandma and visit them with her. I am hoping this will encourage her to sit with them at her meals.
We had dinner together and they were serving salmon. I encouraged her to not get soup this time but to try the salmon, broccoli and roasted potatoes and she agreed. I think she was pleasantly surprised how good it was to eat a regular meal. She also opted for the jello cake instead of chocolate ice cream. Before I left she asked me to make sure she was signed up for the scenic drive in the canyon on Friday at 1:30, and she was! I was thrilled to see her being proactive. Then I gave her a new address book I had bought as the two she has are worn. As I said goodbye she was starting to transfer all the addresses into the new book. Like Cambria said, "something to keep her mind and hands busy."
But the biggest plus: She didn't say once that she would kill herself if she has to live there.:-)
She had forgotten that I was coming so she had asked Dave to go with her. I thought how sweet that Dave would go to Relief Society with his cute, little Mom. He arrived shortly before 3:00 and I told him that I would go with her. Before he left he told us that Kelsey would be joining us. I had brought a skirt in the car in case she was up to going to the Temple, so I dressed for the meeting and we went to Relief Society. Cute Kelsey joined us and sitting there together it was wonderful to realize there were three generations together.
It was a great meeting with a wonderful lesson on Faith tuaght by a gentleman who is a senior missionary. I learned that the meeting is actually combined Priesthood/Relief Society. Grandma seemed fully engaged. Though she was too timid to participate she would make comments to Kelsey or I. I introduced myself to a couple of ladies who I felt could become supportive friends to Grandma. On my next visit I plan to take Grandma and visit them with her. I am hoping this will encourage her to sit with them at her meals.
We had dinner together and they were serving salmon. I encouraged her to not get soup this time but to try the salmon, broccoli and roasted potatoes and she agreed. I think she was pleasantly surprised how good it was to eat a regular meal. She also opted for the jello cake instead of chocolate ice cream. Before I left she asked me to make sure she was signed up for the scenic drive in the canyon on Friday at 1:30, and she was! I was thrilled to see her being proactive. Then I gave her a new address book I had bought as the two she has are worn. As I said goodbye she was starting to transfer all the addresses into the new book. Like Cambria said, "something to keep her mind and hands busy."
But the biggest plus: She didn't say once that she would kill herself if she has to live there.:-)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Coming full circle with Gram
Every summer when I was growing up, we went to Gram's on Saturday to do yard work, cleaning, canning, and any other chores she could come up with. Sometimes we would go during the week since we didn't have school and neither did Gram.
She would have All My Children on, of course, but she never let us just sit and watch it. We always had to be "doing something" or we were "wasting the day." She would put up quilts sometimes but more often than not, she would give us a counted cross-stitch or knitting. To this day Jeff is the best cross-stitcher I know and the reason he learned is because Gram wouldn't let him watch his cartoons unless he was keeping his hands busy with something useful.
Knowing that Gram is now watching TV for part of her day, I figured that fair is fair; she needs to be doing something useful. So before I went to visit her last night, I went to the craft store and got her a counted cross-stitch, some yarn and some knitting needles.
When I got there she was just finishing dinner in the cafeteria. Harold was not there and I took it as an encouraging sign that she had gone down to eat by herself. I showed her the stuff and she looked at me like I was nuts. I explained about the Warm Up America charity. You knit 9x9 inch squares and send them in to WUA where they are sewn together into blankets and given to homless shelters, Ronald McDonald Houses, and various other charities. You can even sew them and send in the finished blankets (which they prefer.) I told her that she and I would each knit enough square to make a blanket and we could send it in. (btw, if anyone else wants to participate, i have lots of needles, yarn, and can show you the simple knit stitch in about 15 minutes.) I got her started on a row of stitches and she took it over and knitted a few rows. She didn't seem as keen on the cross-stitch and I am thinking it is because the needle is smaller and harder to handle.
Anyway, we had a good visit and I can tell she is doing a lot better. She LOVES having people visit her everyday and talked a lot about Jen's Family Home Evening and Abe's soccer game. On my way home, it made me smile that she had forced me to stay busy by doing something useful and now I had the opportunity to turn the table and do the same for her. Yes, me and Gram have come full circle.
She would have All My Children on, of course, but she never let us just sit and watch it. We always had to be "doing something" or we were "wasting the day." She would put up quilts sometimes but more often than not, she would give us a counted cross-stitch or knitting. To this day Jeff is the best cross-stitcher I know and the reason he learned is because Gram wouldn't let him watch his cartoons unless he was keeping his hands busy with something useful.
Knowing that Gram is now watching TV for part of her day, I figured that fair is fair; she needs to be doing something useful. So before I went to visit her last night, I went to the craft store and got her a counted cross-stitch, some yarn and some knitting needles.
When I got there she was just finishing dinner in the cafeteria. Harold was not there and I took it as an encouraging sign that she had gone down to eat by herself. I showed her the stuff and she looked at me like I was nuts. I explained about the Warm Up America charity. You knit 9x9 inch squares and send them in to WUA where they are sewn together into blankets and given to homless shelters, Ronald McDonald Houses, and various other charities. You can even sew them and send in the finished blankets (which they prefer.) I told her that she and I would each knit enough square to make a blanket and we could send it in. (btw, if anyone else wants to participate, i have lots of needles, yarn, and can show you the simple knit stitch in about 15 minutes.) I got her started on a row of stitches and she took it over and knitted a few rows. She didn't seem as keen on the cross-stitch and I am thinking it is because the needle is smaller and harder to handle.
Anyway, we had a good visit and I can tell she is doing a lot better. She LOVES having people visit her everyday and talked a lot about Jen's Family Home Evening and Abe's soccer game. On my way home, it made me smile that she had forced me to stay busy by doing something useful and now I had the opportunity to turn the table and do the same for her. Yes, me and Gram have come full circle.
Monday, September 13, 2010
FHE with Hilda & Harold
I tried Grandma twice today to confirm that we were coming this evening. I didn't get through to her in the morning or late afternoon. The kids and I decided to just drive over to Coventry, anyway.
She and Harold were both in her room. I told her I'd tried to call and she said I must have called during the times that she was at the cafeteria. I was glad to hear that she was eating something besides chocolate.
We had our FHE with them. They were both in good spirits - singing and playing "Button, button. Who has the button." Lily and Greta loved that Grandma and Harold wanted to keep playing the game over and over with them.
As we were leaving, Grandma offered all of her little Dove chocolates to the kids. Breaking my usual form, I agreed to take the chocolates. Don't tell her that they went in the trash when we got home. Maybe she finally OD'd on chocolate ;-)
She and Harold were both in her room. I told her I'd tried to call and she said I must have called during the times that she was at the cafeteria. I was glad to hear that she was eating something besides chocolate.
We had our FHE with them. They were both in good spirits - singing and playing "Button, button. Who has the button." Lily and Greta loved that Grandma and Harold wanted to keep playing the game over and over with them.
As we were leaving, Grandma offered all of her little Dove chocolates to the kids. Breaking my usual form, I agreed to take the chocolates. Don't tell her that they went in the trash when we got home. Maybe she finally OD'd on chocolate ;-)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I tried
I tried 4 times today to call grandma....
1st try- They connected me with the wrong room. I thought that grandma just forgot she had a granddaughter named Codi, but it wasn't grandma.
2nd try- I explained to the operator that I was connected to the wrong room. She said that there was no Hilda Thomas there and I must have the wrong place. We went back and forth for a minute and then she transfer me to security, who never picked up.
3rd try- I talked to the same operator for the 3rd time and she may or may not have connected me to grandma's room. I am not sure because I only got an answering machine.
4th try- New operator. He made it sound like he knew what he was doing, and said that he would connect me to her room. I was connected to another lady, who questioned me for a few minutes about why I did not have grandma's direct line. I finally got her to agree to connect me and then phone never actually connected. I think that she had no idea how to transfer the phone and that is why she was being so insistent that I call grandma's direct line.
So I given up on trying to call grandma today. I will try on another day that no one has signed up on. Maybe a week day, as I assume that there will be better trained staff answering the phone.
Codi
1st try- They connected me with the wrong room. I thought that grandma just forgot she had a granddaughter named Codi, but it wasn't grandma.
2nd try- I explained to the operator that I was connected to the wrong room. She said that there was no Hilda Thomas there and I must have the wrong place. We went back and forth for a minute and then she transfer me to security, who never picked up.
3rd try- I talked to the same operator for the 3rd time and she may or may not have connected me to grandma's room. I am not sure because I only got an answering machine.
4th try- New operator. He made it sound like he knew what he was doing, and said that he would connect me to her room. I was connected to another lady, who questioned me for a few minutes about why I did not have grandma's direct line. I finally got her to agree to connect me and then phone never actually connected. I think that she had no idea how to transfer the phone and that is why she was being so insistent that I call grandma's direct line.
So I given up on trying to call grandma today. I will try on another day that no one has signed up on. Maybe a week day, as I assume that there will be better trained staff answering the phone.
Codi
Friday, September 10, 2010
Friday Afternoon with Hilda (As opposed to Tuesdays with Morrie)
I ended up having to work this morning but was able to arrive at Grandma's by 2:30 pm. I found her in a solemn mood watching the Weather Channel. She seemed pleased to see me and immediately told me that there was to be a special event and someone would be knocking on her door at 3:00 to remind her to come. I was thrilled to hear that. Within 15 minutes the reminder knock came. I met "Nancy" who was one of Grandma's new friends. She is an "Aide" who has many clients at Coventry. Nancy helps with showering, medicating, dressing, hairstyling, etc. She said that she an Grandma had a wonderful visit getting to know each other and found that they both love Musicals.
The 'event' was a 15 year old young man who played the piano. It sounded like he must have taken lessons from Colleen. He was very good. He played a variety from musicals. When he started to play "Some Enchanted Evening" I got a bit nervous how Grandma would react. She started to sob more than I have seen her do. I just held her as she cried into her tissue. After he finished that song she composed herself and cheered up a bit.
We went back to her apartment because there was a lot of clean up to do. (She can mess things up in an hour.) First, the apartment. I cleaned all the chocolate splatters and smudges and wiped down, threw away and organized things. Then I had to do something with the way Grandma looked. Knowing she really wanted to go to the event, I just let it go, even though I saw how some of the ladies looked at her.
We went to Dollar tree to get what we could there for hygiene, (and cards). Then to Walmart for a curling iron and other things she needs on hand so I can do her hair when I am there. (We also bought her some pantyhose because I explained that knee high nylons just do not look good with her new suits and dresses.) When we returned they were on the last seating for dinner so we went to the dining room. She said she wanted soup and ice cream. I told her she also needed to eat something she could chew to get used to her lower dentures so she ordered a half grilled cheese also and ate some of that. I was glad it was vegetable soup so she could chew the soft vegetables. Encouraging chewing will help so much. Dr. Robinson said it will be tender for some time while her gums get used to it but Ibuprofen will be a help with the tenderness.
Then back to her apartment for a shower, hairwashing, clean clothes and a fresh hairstyle. She was upset during this time and kept saying she felt like a little girl being told what to do and having help with it. I just let her vent because, well, she really needed it.
She chose to watch NYPD while I dried and did her hair. Hmm, Interesting. We both learned new things about how homicides are solved. By then it was 9:00, so she was clean, fresh and all fixed up to go to bed. She became frustrated and unhappy that she would be alone tonight. I gave her meds to her and reminded her that she was alone when Harold went to Nephi. I grabbed the dirty clothes to take home and kissed her goodnight.
Jen, she loved the flowers you brought. That was so sweet. Chantelle, she said she had a great visit with you and Matt while enjoying ice cream. How great! As Brianne was her caregiver for 3+ weeks during the day she found that reminding Grandma what a strong woman she is and what an example she is seemed to help. Brianne, she loved having her hair done every day.
By the way, I took her to a doctor about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The doctor read her health history and said that her blood sugar looks great. She said there is no sign of diabetes. I know she loves her chocolate.
Grandma said she is going to leave 'this place' and go rent an apartment and cook TV dinners for herself. I reminded her that as a high school home ec. teacher she taught about the value or good food. She didn't reply to that.
Also I was pleased that the ladies who live there saw her and said "Hi, Hilda". She didn't respond, but I did. And I think eventually she will, too. These things that we are all doing, little by little, will help so much.
The 'event' was a 15 year old young man who played the piano. It sounded like he must have taken lessons from Colleen. He was very good. He played a variety from musicals. When he started to play "Some Enchanted Evening" I got a bit nervous how Grandma would react. She started to sob more than I have seen her do. I just held her as she cried into her tissue. After he finished that song she composed herself and cheered up a bit.
We went back to her apartment because there was a lot of clean up to do. (She can mess things up in an hour.) First, the apartment. I cleaned all the chocolate splatters and smudges and wiped down, threw away and organized things. Then I had to do something with the way Grandma looked. Knowing she really wanted to go to the event, I just let it go, even though I saw how some of the ladies looked at her.
We went to Dollar tree to get what we could there for hygiene, (and cards). Then to Walmart for a curling iron and other things she needs on hand so I can do her hair when I am there. (We also bought her some pantyhose because I explained that knee high nylons just do not look good with her new suits and dresses.) When we returned they were on the last seating for dinner so we went to the dining room. She said she wanted soup and ice cream. I told her she also needed to eat something she could chew to get used to her lower dentures so she ordered a half grilled cheese also and ate some of that. I was glad it was vegetable soup so she could chew the soft vegetables. Encouraging chewing will help so much. Dr. Robinson said it will be tender for some time while her gums get used to it but Ibuprofen will be a help with the tenderness.
Then back to her apartment for a shower, hairwashing, clean clothes and a fresh hairstyle. She was upset during this time and kept saying she felt like a little girl being told what to do and having help with it. I just let her vent because, well, she really needed it.
She chose to watch NYPD while I dried and did her hair. Hmm, Interesting. We both learned new things about how homicides are solved. By then it was 9:00, so she was clean, fresh and all fixed up to go to bed. She became frustrated and unhappy that she would be alone tonight. I gave her meds to her and reminded her that she was alone when Harold went to Nephi. I grabbed the dirty clothes to take home and kissed her goodnight.
Jen, she loved the flowers you brought. That was so sweet. Chantelle, she said she had a great visit with you and Matt while enjoying ice cream. How great! As Brianne was her caregiver for 3+ weeks during the day she found that reminding Grandma what a strong woman she is and what an example she is seemed to help. Brianne, she loved having her hair done every day.
By the way, I took her to a doctor about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The doctor read her health history and said that her blood sugar looks great. She said there is no sign of diabetes. I know she loves her chocolate.
Grandma said she is going to leave 'this place' and go rent an apartment and cook TV dinners for herself. I reminded her that as a high school home ec. teacher she taught about the value or good food. She didn't reply to that.
Also I was pleased that the ladies who live there saw her and said "Hi, Hilda". She didn't respond, but I did. And I think eventually she will, too. These things that we are all doing, little by little, will help so much.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Family Carnival at Coventry
While we were visiting Grandma we saw notices for a carnival at Coventry on Thursday, September 23rd from 1-4 PM. They are encouraging residents to bring family members. This would be a fun, easy way to get Grandma to participate in an activity there and to meet more people.
Grandma gets Lily Hooked on Soap Operas
Lily and I spent a couple of hours at Grandma's new place at Coventry. Of course, she was happy to see us, especially since she had been sad that Harold left this morning and she didn't know if he would be back today or later in the week. She told me that he had to sneak out of the building this morning because he had slept over again and he was afraid that he would get in trouble since he is not a resident at Coventry. I told her it sounded like they were acting like naughty co-eds.
She had the blinds drawn in the all of her apartment; she said that the sun was too bright for her eyes (it was quite overcast). She had a soap opera on the television and Lily was immediately taken in by "the stories". I guess there was some wedding about to take place and Lily didn't want to miss it when I suggested Gma give us a tour of the building :-) Grandma walked us around the first floor showing us the cafeteria, etc. I had her lead the way back to her room - she got turned around and asked me to show her the way to her room.
The kitchen was already pretty messy, mostly with chocolate smudges all over the counter, and several glasses of Boost/Ensure in the sink. Dave and Colleen, you will get to see some of the chocolate smudges on the birthday cards she had me mail for to you two today ;-)
There were no cleaning products or dish soap anywhere, no way to clean anything; plus she was out of Boost and asked for more. So I left Grandma and Lily to watch their "stories" and quickly ran to Dan's to grab some supplies. Everyone feels more positive and happy when their surroundings are clean. I put the supplies under the kitchen sink, so don't hesitate to wipe off counters and clean dishes whenever you visit Gma. She thanked me several times for doing so. I also think we should get her vacuum from the Magna house so that we can vacuum a few times a week. It needed a vacuuming today. I know that they come in to clean the place once a week, but I imagine keeping it tidy through the week will be a help to Grandma.
She had the blinds drawn in the all of her apartment; she said that the sun was too bright for her eyes (it was quite overcast). She had a soap opera on the television and Lily was immediately taken in by "the stories". I guess there was some wedding about to take place and Lily didn't want to miss it when I suggested Gma give us a tour of the building :-) Grandma walked us around the first floor showing us the cafeteria, etc. I had her lead the way back to her room - she got turned around and asked me to show her the way to her room.
The kitchen was already pretty messy, mostly with chocolate smudges all over the counter, and several glasses of Boost/Ensure in the sink. Dave and Colleen, you will get to see some of the chocolate smudges on the birthday cards she had me mail for to you two today ;-)
There were no cleaning products or dish soap anywhere, no way to clean anything; plus she was out of Boost and asked for more. So I left Grandma and Lily to watch their "stories" and quickly ran to Dan's to grab some supplies. Everyone feels more positive and happy when their surroundings are clean. I put the supplies under the kitchen sink, so don't hesitate to wipe off counters and clean dishes whenever you visit Gma. She thanked me several times for doing so. I also think we should get her vacuum from the Magna house so that we can vacuum a few times a week. It needed a vacuuming today. I know that they come in to clean the place once a week, but I imagine keeping it tidy through the week will be a help to Grandma.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thanksgiving Point - August 31st
Lily and I took Grandma to Thanksgiving Point Farm last week for Lily's last day of summer before Kindergarten began. I didn't realize that it was $2 Tuesday and that the whole of Utah, Salt Lake and Davis counties were going to be there as well. I nearly died when I saw how crowded it was. But, Grandma wanted to stay and walk through the farm with Lily. I offered to get her a wheelchair, but she preferred to walk. We were outside walking for nearly an hour, but we went slowly and the sun was mild that day. I had brought a lunch for the three of us to share - a good, yummy lunch, mind you - but when I got it out Grandma said, "Have you ever eaten at In-n-Out Burger?" LOL. I got the hint and asked if she felt like getting something from there for lunch instead of what I brought. She said, "yes." Though, when we got there the only thing she wanted was a chocolate shake. I'm sure that having her full dentures will make a difference.
Why This Blog?
As the name of blog says, this is all about helping Grandma. And this blog will help US to better help, care and love Grandma. This is a new phase for our extended family - having Grandma in a retirement center - with an opportunity to really serve Grandma with our time, our attention.
1) After each visit (or phone call) you make to Grandma make a post in this blog.
2) Tell what you did with her.
3) What her energy level was like.
4) What her mental/emotional state was like.
5) What, if anything, she ate.
Literally, it could be a two sentence post - it doesn't need to take more than 3-4 minutes. Through reading the posts everyone contributes we will have a better picture of how Grandma is doing and what we can do to make her happy and help her feel our love.
Cambria has been great to set up the Visiting Calendar, so we know who is assigned to what days. If you don't post we will assume that you haven't been able to visit (or call) her on your assigned day.
Also, this blog is a good place to notify the family if your assigned day doesn't work for you, and to perhaps trade with another family member.
1) After each visit (or phone call) you make to Grandma make a post in this blog.
2) Tell what you did with her.
3) What her energy level was like.
4) What her mental/emotional state was like.
5) What, if anything, she ate.
Literally, it could be a two sentence post - it doesn't need to take more than 3-4 minutes. Through reading the posts everyone contributes we will have a better picture of how Grandma is doing and what we can do to make her happy and help her feel our love.
Cambria has been great to set up the Visiting Calendar, so we know who is assigned to what days. If you don't post we will assume that you haven't been able to visit (or call) her on your assigned day.
Also, this blog is a good place to notify the family if your assigned day doesn't work for you, and to perhaps trade with another family member.
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