When I arrived at Grandma's today it was just after noon, so I planned to go eat lunch with her at the cafeteria. However, when I got to her room she told me she couldn't find her glasses. This was really bothering her and she kept repeating the same things about how people would think she had lost her mind and get mad at her for losing them. I figured I would be able to find them very quickly since her place isn't that big, but they were no where to be found.
I convinced her that we should go eat and then look for them again when we got back. At lunch she kept repeating that she just really wanted to find her glasses. I told her she wasn't crazy and told her all of my stories about losing things and how it frustrated Marc. At lunch we sat with an retired couple as well as a very quiet woman with a walker. She kept saying how much better off she was than most people there (a little too loud too). I told her that I thought they all looked great and how nice it must be for her to not have to cook. She loved that Jose, the waiter, knew her name and new what her regular order was--grilled cheese sandwich, root beer, and chocolate ice cream.
When we came back we began hunting for her glasses again. They weren't at the front desk and she had them the night before so we knew they had to be in the apartment. She said that she had told Harold on the phone that morning that she had lost them and he said that he would pray she would find them. With that reminder I figured I should say a little prayer too. We were both in her room looking when I glanced in the closet and then turned back around to find them sitting nicely on her bed. It surprised me so much I looked at Grandma wondering if she had been playing some game hiding them from me. But there they were in plain site. She was so relieved and got a bit emotional. She kept thanking me but I kept telling her it wasn't me. I told her that Harold must have great faith because it really was an answer to his and our prayers.
After that she was much more at ease, and she re-taught me how to knit. It took me a while to catch on, but I finally got it. She was so proud of me. Now I just have to learn how to start a row. We kept knitting until Dave picked her up for her dentist appointment. I left with a greater appreciation for prayer and Grandma's great faith.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Back to the Temple
Grandma and I weren't sure how long it has been since she had experienced a temple session, but we guessed maybe five years. Probably when Andrew or Marcee prepared for their missions, so it was no wonder she was a bit nervous about going. Nevertheless, she was dressed and ready with recommend in hand when I arrived Friday morning at 9:45 am.
Upon arriving at the Jordan River Temple we found it already busy with wedding groups. In the dressing room she was a little concerned on how she should dress but it all turned out well. We were able to get right in to the next session and had a wonderful experience together.
On our way back to the dressing room and throughout the afternoon she commented on how she couldn't believe how much she had forgotten. "I used to be a Temple Worker. I should know!" I reminded her that it had been quite some time since she had been there and how I thought she did quite well. I told her we would come back more often so that she could remember.
From there we went to the Fashion Place Mall. She has wanted to buy a coat for a year. First we stopped in at Nordstoms to see Mallory working and found we had just missed Jenny. Then we went to the food court and shared a chinese lunch while Mallory had grilled chicken. Of course, she wanted a chocolate shake for dessert.
Then we began our trek from store to store: Maceys, Sears, Dillards..... not one of them had long dress coats for winter. They were all short coats. The sales woman did show us one longer black coat that was not pretty but the tag read $699. Talk about sticker shock. Then we found out it was a cashmere coat. It still was ugly. We plan on going to Burlington Coat Factory when I come on Wednesday.
Back to her apartment we found that the day had really sped by. We changed the sheets and did a bit of housekeeping. But then some saddness set in for me. She had been very engaged and alert most of the day. However, when we arrived at her place she became confused and quiet again. Things seemed disjointed and unclear to her. She repeated things again and again. I kissed her good-bye about 5:45 pm, took the two laundry bags and told her I would be back Wednesday. She sat on the couch watching the news as I left, and I realized what Colleen had told me was right. With dementia, a person can go from clarity to confusion in a short time. I saw that happen. I was so glad I had the first part of the day to make memories.
Upon arriving at the Jordan River Temple we found it already busy with wedding groups. In the dressing room she was a little concerned on how she should dress but it all turned out well. We were able to get right in to the next session and had a wonderful experience together.
On our way back to the dressing room and throughout the afternoon she commented on how she couldn't believe how much she had forgotten. "I used to be a Temple Worker. I should know!" I reminded her that it had been quite some time since she had been there and how I thought she did quite well. I told her we would come back more often so that she could remember.
From there we went to the Fashion Place Mall. She has wanted to buy a coat for a year. First we stopped in at Nordstoms to see Mallory working and found we had just missed Jenny. Then we went to the food court and shared a chinese lunch while Mallory had grilled chicken. Of course, she wanted a chocolate shake for dessert.
Then we began our trek from store to store: Maceys, Sears, Dillards..... not one of them had long dress coats for winter. They were all short coats. The sales woman did show us one longer black coat that was not pretty but the tag read $699. Talk about sticker shock. Then we found out it was a cashmere coat. It still was ugly. We plan on going to Burlington Coat Factory when I come on Wednesday.
Back to her apartment we found that the day had really sped by. We changed the sheets and did a bit of housekeeping. But then some saddness set in for me. She had been very engaged and alert most of the day. However, when we arrived at her place she became confused and quiet again. Things seemed disjointed and unclear to her. She repeated things again and again. I kissed her good-bye about 5:45 pm, took the two laundry bags and told her I would be back Wednesday. She sat on the couch watching the news as I left, and I realized what Colleen had told me was right. With dementia, a person can go from clarity to confusion in a short time. I saw that happen. I was so glad I had the first part of the day to make memories.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Livin' it up with Hilda
Realizing I only had about 20 minutes for a visit with Grandma yesterday, I decided to call her and ask her to accompany me to an appointment I had on Highland Dr. in the afternoon. At first she said that she'd already been out to see the dentist with Dave in the morning. So I just talked with her for a while as I drove. At the end of the phone call she said she'd changed her mind and that she did want to go with me.
When I got to Coventry she was all ready with her shoes and bag. (Hanging the pictures on the wall really made a difference to the sitting area, Colleen). The appointment I had was for acupuncture, so I warned Grandma about all the needles. She asked if they did flu shots there, too. LOL.
When we arrived she was all talkative and bubbly with the people in the office. I found it to be very humorous. She was eager to add to the conversation. While I was talking to the doc and receptionist about the race I'd run over the weekend, she kept interrupting to tell us about foot races she ran when she was a child in Oakley. It was a good reminder to me how much I need to keep her the center of attention when I'm with her. Everyone in the office was very sweet to her. I was surprised how much she loved being there.
I was going to take her right home afterward because I needed to get the kids from school. But, I have to admit that she tricked me into getting her a chocolate shake. I say "tricked" because I hadn't read Megan's post yet, and I was under the impression that she hadn't had one for several days. LOL. I should have known better. I will be stronger against her pressures in the future, assuming that someone else will have gotten her a shake ;-)
When I got to Coventry she was all ready with her shoes and bag. (Hanging the pictures on the wall really made a difference to the sitting area, Colleen). The appointment I had was for acupuncture, so I warned Grandma about all the needles. She asked if they did flu shots there, too. LOL.
When we arrived she was all talkative and bubbly with the people in the office. I found it to be very humorous. She was eager to add to the conversation. While I was talking to the doc and receptionist about the race I'd run over the weekend, she kept interrupting to tell us about foot races she ran when she was a child in Oakley. It was a good reminder to me how much I need to keep her the center of attention when I'm with her. Everyone in the office was very sweet to her. I was surprised how much she loved being there.
I was going to take her right home afterward because I needed to get the kids from school. But, I have to admit that she tricked me into getting her a chocolate shake. I say "tricked" because I hadn't read Megan's post yet, and I was under the impression that she hadn't had one for several days. LOL. I should have known better. I will be stronger against her pressures in the future, assuming that someone else will have gotten her a shake ;-)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A phone chat... twice
I phoned Grandma yesterday afternoon and she picked right up and was chipper and enthusiastic from the start. She was reading a magazine and had just come back from having lunch in the dining room. She wasn't as talkative as she has been over the last few months when I've called. I asked how she was enjoying her new home... She said it is a beautiful apartment with a great television. But, she still isn't happy there. In her words, there are lots of wheelchairs and walkers and she is normal and doesn't belong with them. But, she did have some nice things to say about her ward.
Grandma mentioned that Harold has been staying almost every night and how happy that has made her. She said she was just re-reading the birthday card Harold gave her last month and in it he told her that he loved her. She told me he had gone on Saturday to baptize one of his grandkids and she hadn't heard from him since and added that he better get back there that night or his name was going to be mud! (I was happy to hear in Megan's update that he did.)
Grandma mentioned that Harold has been staying almost every night and how happy that has made her. She said she was just re-reading the birthday card Harold gave her last month and in it he told her that he loved her. She told me he had gone on Saturday to baptize one of his grandkids and she hadn't heard from him since and added that he better get back there that night or his name was going to be mud! (I was happy to hear in Megan's update that he did.)
We talked about how Gabriel is turning 1 year old this week. She asked if she had sent him a card. I told her I hadn't received one, but that it was still a few days away. Did she remember sending one? She didn't think she had, so was going to do it right then while we were talking.
A few hours later when I went to get my mail, low and behold, there was a birthday card for Gabe from Grandma! So, I phoned her back:
"Grandma, it's Kristin."
"Why again?", she asked. (I thought she'd be thrilled to get another call from me so soon! ;)
I told her that my mail arrives and that she HAD sent Gabe a card. She laughed & said it was too late, she'd already mailed another... and laughed again and said she's losing her mind. I told her not to worry... we'd just enjoy the double birthday wishes.
"Grandma, it's Kristin."
"Why again?", she asked. (I thought she'd be thrilled to get another call from me so soon! ;)
I told her that my mail arrives and that she HAD sent Gabe a card. She laughed & said it was too late, she'd already mailed another... and laughed again and said she's losing her mind. I told her not to worry... we'd just enjoy the double birthday wishes.
Ding Bats
Chels and I had our evening with Grams last night. As I drove over to meet Chels at Grams' new place I was a little nervous to be honest. The last time I saw her and spoke to her was at Mallory's wedding and she certainly wasn't her good ol' cheery self.
We showed her the board that hangs in every 5 Guys that states what part of Idaho they got the potatoes from that day. She thought that was fabulous. And, she loved that they had bags of potatoes lining the tables. She told us how she used to move bags of potatoes to earn money when she was young. Chels and I told her that she is so dang tuff and she laughed at us. She at about 90% of her cheeseburger, and we all voted on the fact that we would skip the fries so we could have ice cream after our burgers.
Part way through the movie mom called and said that Harold was at Uncle Dave's waiting for us to leave. We told Grams we would go so that he could come over and she said "Oh pooh!" And then said that she wanted us to stay a while longer, Harold could wait if he was going to be like that. We stayed another 20 minutes and then told her we better head. It was about 7:45 then.
I know I rambled on and on, I apologize for the length. But I was just so happy to see Grams as her old self. We laughed the entire time, and called each other "ding bats" as we always have. I left in the best mood I've been in for a very long time. I've missed seeing my Grams like her old self, and it was so good to remember that feeling I get when I'm around her. Chels and I are definitely looking forward to our next visit.
The moment she opened the door and saw Chels and I all of my nerves washed away. She greeted us with open arms and a huge squeeze. We asked her if she had eaten (it was 5:30) and she said "no." We then asked if she would like to eat in the cafeteria, or if she would rather go to 5 Guys Burgers and Fries with us. She was hesitant to give her opinion, but eventually she fessed up and said she would really like to get a burger.
We showed her the board that hangs in every 5 Guys that states what part of Idaho they got the potatoes from that day. She thought that was fabulous. And, she loved that they had bags of potatoes lining the tables. She told us how she used to move bags of potatoes to earn money when she was young. Chels and I told her that she is so dang tuff and she laughed at us. She at about 90% of her cheeseburger, and we all voted on the fact that we would skip the fries so we could have ice cream after our burgers.We got 3 hot fudge shakes and headed back to her place to watch a movie and enjoy our treats. Oklahoma was the movie we ended up on. Chels and I were so shocked at the things Grams found funny. The red pantaloons that the peddler tried to sell the ladies were by far the thing that sent her into a laughter. She had tears streaming down her face even. She asked me to get up and dance for her several times throughout the movie (why she never asked Chels is beyond me). I finally got up and sang in my best-joking opera voice right along with Milly and she got a kick out of it.
Part way through the movie mom called and said that Harold was at Uncle Dave's waiting for us to leave. We told Grams we would go so that he could come over and she said "Oh pooh!" And then said that she wanted us to stay a while longer, Harold could wait if he was going to be like that. We stayed another 20 minutes and then told her we better head. It was about 7:45 then.I know I rambled on and on, I apologize for the length. But I was just so happy to see Grams as her old self. We laughed the entire time, and called each other "ding bats" as we always have. I left in the best mood I've been in for a very long time. I've missed seeing my Grams like her old self, and it was so good to remember that feeling I get when I'm around her. Chels and I are definitely looking forward to our next visit. Monday, September 20, 2010
South Pacific
So I noticed the other day that Mountain View high school in Orem is putting on South Pacific November 18-20. I have no idea if they even have a decent theater program, but I'm sure Grandma would love to see it anyway. I'll talk to her about it and see if Harold would like to come down as well. If anyone else is interested in coming let me know. I still have to check on the times and cost for tickets.
And just a side note, I have really loved being able to read all of these updates about Grandma. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping us informed. Hopefully we can all get on the bandwagon (including me)!
And just a side note, I have really loved being able to read all of these updates about Grandma. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping us informed. Hopefully we can all get on the bandwagon (including me)!
Cambria blogging for Colleen (the techno challenged)
My mom visited Grandma this weekend and had a good time with her on Saturday and Sunday. They had lunch together on Saturday and had a good visit. They put up some pictures in her apartment and got things more organized for her. One thing mom did say was that she bought Gram some tide and bounce and a laundry basket so that she could do her laundry there in the laundry room instead people having to take it for her and bring it back. So if you visit, maybe just check her laundry basket and throw a load in for her if need be.
When mom got ready to go Gram wasn't doing as good because Harold wasn't going to sleep over that night and she started the "go ahead and leave and i'll just die here" thing. So, cute Matt had a sleep over with her on Saturday night and had a fun time with her on Sunday morning. I guess he thought the cafeteria was awesome and he liked having breakfast there. There had been some discussion that maybe she could have slept over at someone's house but I think the concern is that if we keep letting her leave, she will never adjust and start to think of that as her home. Matt is such a great kid to help out :)
Sunday mom took Gram out in the sitting area in the foyer after church and played the piano for her. Gram had to introduce her to all the people that stopped to listen. Mom also taked with one of the managers there who commended our family for all the visits; we have definitely made a difference in how well she is doing. But she wanted to remind us to sign-in at the front desk when we are there so that they can keep track of everyone and everything. I went there once and no one was at the front desk so I just signed the visitor list and called it good.
I am going to sit down with mom and show her how this blogging works, but for now I don't mind being her ghost writer :)
When mom got ready to go Gram wasn't doing as good because Harold wasn't going to sleep over that night and she started the "go ahead and leave and i'll just die here" thing. So, cute Matt had a sleep over with her on Saturday night and had a fun time with her on Sunday morning. I guess he thought the cafeteria was awesome and he liked having breakfast there. There had been some discussion that maybe she could have slept over at someone's house but I think the concern is that if we keep letting her leave, she will never adjust and start to think of that as her home. Matt is such a great kid to help out :)
Sunday mom took Gram out in the sitting area in the foyer after church and played the piano for her. Gram had to introduce her to all the people that stopped to listen. Mom also taked with one of the managers there who commended our family for all the visits; we have definitely made a difference in how well she is doing. But she wanted to remind us to sign-in at the front desk when we are there so that they can keep track of everyone and everything. I went there once and no one was at the front desk so I just signed the visitor list and called it good.
I am going to sit down with mom and show her how this blogging works, but for now I don't mind being her ghost writer :)
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Lily visits Hilda
Lil and I had a short 45-minute visit with Grandma yesterday (Friday). She was watching TV and asked me to teach her how to turn on the DVD player as soon as I entered the room. I'm sure several others have already shown her how to use the machine. I ended up writing the directions down on some paper, though I don't know how helpful my directions are going to be for her.
I tried to get her to do some knitting while I was there; she'd done one row. I asked her to re-teach me how to knit in the hopes that by explaining/showing she would better remember what Cambria had taught her last week. She wasn't interested in knitting right then; only wanted to watch The King and I with Lily. We only had a few minutes to watch the show before I needed to take Lily to kindergarten, but I was almost ecstatic about the fact that she was wanting to watch something besides South Pacific, and so the five year-old and the eighty-two year-old enjoyed some singing in Siam.
I tried to get her to do some knitting while I was there; she'd done one row. I asked her to re-teach me how to knit in the hopes that by explaining/showing she would better remember what Cambria had taught her last week. She wasn't interested in knitting right then; only wanted to watch The King and I with Lily. We only had a few minutes to watch the show before I needed to take Lily to kindergarten, but I was almost ecstatic about the fact that she was wanting to watch something besides South Pacific, and so the five year-old and the eighty-two year-old enjoyed some singing in Siam.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Relief Society- The Way It Used To Be
I arrived on Wednesday afternoon and was greeted by Grandma with her hair combed (she did it by herself and it looked quite presentable), lipstick on, wearing a red dress, nylons and dress shoes. She was ready for Relief Society! They have it every Wednesday afternoon at 3:00 pm. It brought back memories of decades ago when Relief Society was always held midweek.
She had forgotten that I was coming so she had asked Dave to go with her. I thought how sweet that Dave would go to Relief Society with his cute, little Mom. He arrived shortly before 3:00 and I told him that I would go with her. Before he left he told us that Kelsey would be joining us. I had brought a skirt in the car in case she was up to going to the Temple, so I dressed for the meeting and we went to Relief Society. Cute Kelsey joined us and sitting there together it was wonderful to realize there were three generations together.
It was a great meeting with a wonderful lesson on Faith tuaght by a gentleman who is a senior missionary. I learned that the meeting is actually combined Priesthood/Relief Society. Grandma seemed fully engaged. Though she was too timid to participate she would make comments to Kelsey or I. I introduced myself to a couple of ladies who I felt could become supportive friends to Grandma. On my next visit I plan to take Grandma and visit them with her. I am hoping this will encourage her to sit with them at her meals.
We had dinner together and they were serving salmon. I encouraged her to not get soup this time but to try the salmon, broccoli and roasted potatoes and she agreed. I think she was pleasantly surprised how good it was to eat a regular meal. She also opted for the jello cake instead of chocolate ice cream. Before I left she asked me to make sure she was signed up for the scenic drive in the canyon on Friday at 1:30, and she was! I was thrilled to see her being proactive. Then I gave her a new address book I had bought as the two she has are worn. As I said goodbye she was starting to transfer all the addresses into the new book. Like Cambria said, "something to keep her mind and hands busy."
But the biggest plus: She didn't say once that she would kill herself if she has to live there.:-)
She had forgotten that I was coming so she had asked Dave to go with her. I thought how sweet that Dave would go to Relief Society with his cute, little Mom. He arrived shortly before 3:00 and I told him that I would go with her. Before he left he told us that Kelsey would be joining us. I had brought a skirt in the car in case she was up to going to the Temple, so I dressed for the meeting and we went to Relief Society. Cute Kelsey joined us and sitting there together it was wonderful to realize there were three generations together.
It was a great meeting with a wonderful lesson on Faith tuaght by a gentleman who is a senior missionary. I learned that the meeting is actually combined Priesthood/Relief Society. Grandma seemed fully engaged. Though she was too timid to participate she would make comments to Kelsey or I. I introduced myself to a couple of ladies who I felt could become supportive friends to Grandma. On my next visit I plan to take Grandma and visit them with her. I am hoping this will encourage her to sit with them at her meals.
We had dinner together and they were serving salmon. I encouraged her to not get soup this time but to try the salmon, broccoli and roasted potatoes and she agreed. I think she was pleasantly surprised how good it was to eat a regular meal. She also opted for the jello cake instead of chocolate ice cream. Before I left she asked me to make sure she was signed up for the scenic drive in the canyon on Friday at 1:30, and she was! I was thrilled to see her being proactive. Then I gave her a new address book I had bought as the two she has are worn. As I said goodbye she was starting to transfer all the addresses into the new book. Like Cambria said, "something to keep her mind and hands busy."
But the biggest plus: She didn't say once that she would kill herself if she has to live there.:-)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Coming full circle with Gram
Every summer when I was growing up, we went to Gram's on Saturday to do yard work, cleaning, canning, and any other chores she could come up with. Sometimes we would go during the week since we didn't have school and neither did Gram.
She would have All My Children on, of course, but she never let us just sit and watch it. We always had to be "doing something" or we were "wasting the day." She would put up quilts sometimes but more often than not, she would give us a counted cross-stitch or knitting. To this day Jeff is the best cross-stitcher I know and the reason he learned is because Gram wouldn't let him watch his cartoons unless he was keeping his hands busy with something useful.
Knowing that Gram is now watching TV for part of her day, I figured that fair is fair; she needs to be doing something useful. So before I went to visit her last night, I went to the craft store and got her a counted cross-stitch, some yarn and some knitting needles.
When I got there she was just finishing dinner in the cafeteria. Harold was not there and I took it as an encouraging sign that she had gone down to eat by herself. I showed her the stuff and she looked at me like I was nuts. I explained about the Warm Up America charity. You knit 9x9 inch squares and send them in to WUA where they are sewn together into blankets and given to homless shelters, Ronald McDonald Houses, and various other charities. You can even sew them and send in the finished blankets (which they prefer.) I told her that she and I would each knit enough square to make a blanket and we could send it in. (btw, if anyone else wants to participate, i have lots of needles, yarn, and can show you the simple knit stitch in about 15 minutes.) I got her started on a row of stitches and she took it over and knitted a few rows. She didn't seem as keen on the cross-stitch and I am thinking it is because the needle is smaller and harder to handle.
Anyway, we had a good visit and I can tell she is doing a lot better. She LOVES having people visit her everyday and talked a lot about Jen's Family Home Evening and Abe's soccer game. On my way home, it made me smile that she had forced me to stay busy by doing something useful and now I had the opportunity to turn the table and do the same for her. Yes, me and Gram have come full circle.
She would have All My Children on, of course, but she never let us just sit and watch it. We always had to be "doing something" or we were "wasting the day." She would put up quilts sometimes but more often than not, she would give us a counted cross-stitch or knitting. To this day Jeff is the best cross-stitcher I know and the reason he learned is because Gram wouldn't let him watch his cartoons unless he was keeping his hands busy with something useful.
Knowing that Gram is now watching TV for part of her day, I figured that fair is fair; she needs to be doing something useful. So before I went to visit her last night, I went to the craft store and got her a counted cross-stitch, some yarn and some knitting needles.
When I got there she was just finishing dinner in the cafeteria. Harold was not there and I took it as an encouraging sign that she had gone down to eat by herself. I showed her the stuff and she looked at me like I was nuts. I explained about the Warm Up America charity. You knit 9x9 inch squares and send them in to WUA where they are sewn together into blankets and given to homless shelters, Ronald McDonald Houses, and various other charities. You can even sew them and send in the finished blankets (which they prefer.) I told her that she and I would each knit enough square to make a blanket and we could send it in. (btw, if anyone else wants to participate, i have lots of needles, yarn, and can show you the simple knit stitch in about 15 minutes.) I got her started on a row of stitches and she took it over and knitted a few rows. She didn't seem as keen on the cross-stitch and I am thinking it is because the needle is smaller and harder to handle.
Anyway, we had a good visit and I can tell she is doing a lot better. She LOVES having people visit her everyday and talked a lot about Jen's Family Home Evening and Abe's soccer game. On my way home, it made me smile that she had forced me to stay busy by doing something useful and now I had the opportunity to turn the table and do the same for her. Yes, me and Gram have come full circle.
Monday, September 13, 2010
FHE with Hilda & Harold
I tried Grandma twice today to confirm that we were coming this evening. I didn't get through to her in the morning or late afternoon. The kids and I decided to just drive over to Coventry, anyway.
She and Harold were both in her room. I told her I'd tried to call and she said I must have called during the times that she was at the cafeteria. I was glad to hear that she was eating something besides chocolate.
We had our FHE with them. They were both in good spirits - singing and playing "Button, button. Who has the button." Lily and Greta loved that Grandma and Harold wanted to keep playing the game over and over with them.
As we were leaving, Grandma offered all of her little Dove chocolates to the kids. Breaking my usual form, I agreed to take the chocolates. Don't tell her that they went in the trash when we got home. Maybe she finally OD'd on chocolate ;-)
She and Harold were both in her room. I told her I'd tried to call and she said I must have called during the times that she was at the cafeteria. I was glad to hear that she was eating something besides chocolate.
We had our FHE with them. They were both in good spirits - singing and playing "Button, button. Who has the button." Lily and Greta loved that Grandma and Harold wanted to keep playing the game over and over with them.
As we were leaving, Grandma offered all of her little Dove chocolates to the kids. Breaking my usual form, I agreed to take the chocolates. Don't tell her that they went in the trash when we got home. Maybe she finally OD'd on chocolate ;-)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I tried
I tried 4 times today to call grandma....
1st try- They connected me with the wrong room. I thought that grandma just forgot she had a granddaughter named Codi, but it wasn't grandma.
2nd try- I explained to the operator that I was connected to the wrong room. She said that there was no Hilda Thomas there and I must have the wrong place. We went back and forth for a minute and then she transfer me to security, who never picked up.
3rd try- I talked to the same operator for the 3rd time and she may or may not have connected me to grandma's room. I am not sure because I only got an answering machine.
4th try- New operator. He made it sound like he knew what he was doing, and said that he would connect me to her room. I was connected to another lady, who questioned me for a few minutes about why I did not have grandma's direct line. I finally got her to agree to connect me and then phone never actually connected. I think that she had no idea how to transfer the phone and that is why she was being so insistent that I call grandma's direct line.
So I given up on trying to call grandma today. I will try on another day that no one has signed up on. Maybe a week day, as I assume that there will be better trained staff answering the phone.
Codi
1st try- They connected me with the wrong room. I thought that grandma just forgot she had a granddaughter named Codi, but it wasn't grandma.
2nd try- I explained to the operator that I was connected to the wrong room. She said that there was no Hilda Thomas there and I must have the wrong place. We went back and forth for a minute and then she transfer me to security, who never picked up.
3rd try- I talked to the same operator for the 3rd time and she may or may not have connected me to grandma's room. I am not sure because I only got an answering machine.
4th try- New operator. He made it sound like he knew what he was doing, and said that he would connect me to her room. I was connected to another lady, who questioned me for a few minutes about why I did not have grandma's direct line. I finally got her to agree to connect me and then phone never actually connected. I think that she had no idea how to transfer the phone and that is why she was being so insistent that I call grandma's direct line.
So I given up on trying to call grandma today. I will try on another day that no one has signed up on. Maybe a week day, as I assume that there will be better trained staff answering the phone.
Codi
Friday, September 10, 2010
Friday Afternoon with Hilda (As opposed to Tuesdays with Morrie)
I ended up having to work this morning but was able to arrive at Grandma's by 2:30 pm. I found her in a solemn mood watching the Weather Channel. She seemed pleased to see me and immediately told me that there was to be a special event and someone would be knocking on her door at 3:00 to remind her to come. I was thrilled to hear that. Within 15 minutes the reminder knock came. I met "Nancy" who was one of Grandma's new friends. She is an "Aide" who has many clients at Coventry. Nancy helps with showering, medicating, dressing, hairstyling, etc. She said that she an Grandma had a wonderful visit getting to know each other and found that they both love Musicals.
The 'event' was a 15 year old young man who played the piano. It sounded like he must have taken lessons from Colleen. He was very good. He played a variety from musicals. When he started to play "Some Enchanted Evening" I got a bit nervous how Grandma would react. She started to sob more than I have seen her do. I just held her as she cried into her tissue. After he finished that song she composed herself and cheered up a bit.
We went back to her apartment because there was a lot of clean up to do. (She can mess things up in an hour.) First, the apartment. I cleaned all the chocolate splatters and smudges and wiped down, threw away and organized things. Then I had to do something with the way Grandma looked. Knowing she really wanted to go to the event, I just let it go, even though I saw how some of the ladies looked at her.
We went to Dollar tree to get what we could there for hygiene, (and cards). Then to Walmart for a curling iron and other things she needs on hand so I can do her hair when I am there. (We also bought her some pantyhose because I explained that knee high nylons just do not look good with her new suits and dresses.) When we returned they were on the last seating for dinner so we went to the dining room. She said she wanted soup and ice cream. I told her she also needed to eat something she could chew to get used to her lower dentures so she ordered a half grilled cheese also and ate some of that. I was glad it was vegetable soup so she could chew the soft vegetables. Encouraging chewing will help so much. Dr. Robinson said it will be tender for some time while her gums get used to it but Ibuprofen will be a help with the tenderness.
Then back to her apartment for a shower, hairwashing, clean clothes and a fresh hairstyle. She was upset during this time and kept saying she felt like a little girl being told what to do and having help with it. I just let her vent because, well, she really needed it.
She chose to watch NYPD while I dried and did her hair. Hmm, Interesting. We both learned new things about how homicides are solved. By then it was 9:00, so she was clean, fresh and all fixed up to go to bed. She became frustrated and unhappy that she would be alone tonight. I gave her meds to her and reminded her that she was alone when Harold went to Nephi. I grabbed the dirty clothes to take home and kissed her goodnight.
Jen, she loved the flowers you brought. That was so sweet. Chantelle, she said she had a great visit with you and Matt while enjoying ice cream. How great! As Brianne was her caregiver for 3+ weeks during the day she found that reminding Grandma what a strong woman she is and what an example she is seemed to help. Brianne, she loved having her hair done every day.
By the way, I took her to a doctor about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The doctor read her health history and said that her blood sugar looks great. She said there is no sign of diabetes. I know she loves her chocolate.
Grandma said she is going to leave 'this place' and go rent an apartment and cook TV dinners for herself. I reminded her that as a high school home ec. teacher she taught about the value or good food. She didn't reply to that.
Also I was pleased that the ladies who live there saw her and said "Hi, Hilda". She didn't respond, but I did. And I think eventually she will, too. These things that we are all doing, little by little, will help so much.
The 'event' was a 15 year old young man who played the piano. It sounded like he must have taken lessons from Colleen. He was very good. He played a variety from musicals. When he started to play "Some Enchanted Evening" I got a bit nervous how Grandma would react. She started to sob more than I have seen her do. I just held her as she cried into her tissue. After he finished that song she composed herself and cheered up a bit.
We went back to her apartment because there was a lot of clean up to do. (She can mess things up in an hour.) First, the apartment. I cleaned all the chocolate splatters and smudges and wiped down, threw away and organized things. Then I had to do something with the way Grandma looked. Knowing she really wanted to go to the event, I just let it go, even though I saw how some of the ladies looked at her.
We went to Dollar tree to get what we could there for hygiene, (and cards). Then to Walmart for a curling iron and other things she needs on hand so I can do her hair when I am there. (We also bought her some pantyhose because I explained that knee high nylons just do not look good with her new suits and dresses.) When we returned they were on the last seating for dinner so we went to the dining room. She said she wanted soup and ice cream. I told her she also needed to eat something she could chew to get used to her lower dentures so she ordered a half grilled cheese also and ate some of that. I was glad it was vegetable soup so she could chew the soft vegetables. Encouraging chewing will help so much. Dr. Robinson said it will be tender for some time while her gums get used to it but Ibuprofen will be a help with the tenderness.
Then back to her apartment for a shower, hairwashing, clean clothes and a fresh hairstyle. She was upset during this time and kept saying she felt like a little girl being told what to do and having help with it. I just let her vent because, well, she really needed it.
She chose to watch NYPD while I dried and did her hair. Hmm, Interesting. We both learned new things about how homicides are solved. By then it was 9:00, so she was clean, fresh and all fixed up to go to bed. She became frustrated and unhappy that she would be alone tonight. I gave her meds to her and reminded her that she was alone when Harold went to Nephi. I grabbed the dirty clothes to take home and kissed her goodnight.
Jen, she loved the flowers you brought. That was so sweet. Chantelle, she said she had a great visit with you and Matt while enjoying ice cream. How great! As Brianne was her caregiver for 3+ weeks during the day she found that reminding Grandma what a strong woman she is and what an example she is seemed to help. Brianne, she loved having her hair done every day.
By the way, I took her to a doctor about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The doctor read her health history and said that her blood sugar looks great. She said there is no sign of diabetes. I know she loves her chocolate.
Grandma said she is going to leave 'this place' and go rent an apartment and cook TV dinners for herself. I reminded her that as a high school home ec. teacher she taught about the value or good food. She didn't reply to that.
Also I was pleased that the ladies who live there saw her and said "Hi, Hilda". She didn't respond, but I did. And I think eventually she will, too. These things that we are all doing, little by little, will help so much.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Family Carnival at Coventry
While we were visiting Grandma we saw notices for a carnival at Coventry on Thursday, September 23rd from 1-4 PM. They are encouraging residents to bring family members. This would be a fun, easy way to get Grandma to participate in an activity there and to meet more people.
Grandma gets Lily Hooked on Soap Operas
Lily and I spent a couple of hours at Grandma's new place at Coventry. Of course, she was happy to see us, especially since she had been sad that Harold left this morning and she didn't know if he would be back today or later in the week. She told me that he had to sneak out of the building this morning because he had slept over again and he was afraid that he would get in trouble since he is not a resident at Coventry. I told her it sounded like they were acting like naughty co-eds.
She had the blinds drawn in the all of her apartment; she said that the sun was too bright for her eyes (it was quite overcast). She had a soap opera on the television and Lily was immediately taken in by "the stories". I guess there was some wedding about to take place and Lily didn't want to miss it when I suggested Gma give us a tour of the building :-) Grandma walked us around the first floor showing us the cafeteria, etc. I had her lead the way back to her room - she got turned around and asked me to show her the way to her room.
The kitchen was already pretty messy, mostly with chocolate smudges all over the counter, and several glasses of Boost/Ensure in the sink. Dave and Colleen, you will get to see some of the chocolate smudges on the birthday cards she had me mail for to you two today ;-)
There were no cleaning products or dish soap anywhere, no way to clean anything; plus she was out of Boost and asked for more. So I left Grandma and Lily to watch their "stories" and quickly ran to Dan's to grab some supplies. Everyone feels more positive and happy when their surroundings are clean. I put the supplies under the kitchen sink, so don't hesitate to wipe off counters and clean dishes whenever you visit Gma. She thanked me several times for doing so. I also think we should get her vacuum from the Magna house so that we can vacuum a few times a week. It needed a vacuuming today. I know that they come in to clean the place once a week, but I imagine keeping it tidy through the week will be a help to Grandma.
She had the blinds drawn in the all of her apartment; she said that the sun was too bright for her eyes (it was quite overcast). She had a soap opera on the television and Lily was immediately taken in by "the stories". I guess there was some wedding about to take place and Lily didn't want to miss it when I suggested Gma give us a tour of the building :-) Grandma walked us around the first floor showing us the cafeteria, etc. I had her lead the way back to her room - she got turned around and asked me to show her the way to her room.
The kitchen was already pretty messy, mostly with chocolate smudges all over the counter, and several glasses of Boost/Ensure in the sink. Dave and Colleen, you will get to see some of the chocolate smudges on the birthday cards she had me mail for to you two today ;-)
There were no cleaning products or dish soap anywhere, no way to clean anything; plus she was out of Boost and asked for more. So I left Grandma and Lily to watch their "stories" and quickly ran to Dan's to grab some supplies. Everyone feels more positive and happy when their surroundings are clean. I put the supplies under the kitchen sink, so don't hesitate to wipe off counters and clean dishes whenever you visit Gma. She thanked me several times for doing so. I also think we should get her vacuum from the Magna house so that we can vacuum a few times a week. It needed a vacuuming today. I know that they come in to clean the place once a week, but I imagine keeping it tidy through the week will be a help to Grandma.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thanksgiving Point - August 31st
Lily and I took Grandma to Thanksgiving Point Farm last week for Lily's last day of summer before Kindergarten began. I didn't realize that it was $2 Tuesday and that the whole of Utah, Salt Lake and Davis counties were going to be there as well. I nearly died when I saw how crowded it was. But, Grandma wanted to stay and walk through the farm with Lily. I offered to get her a wheelchair, but she preferred to walk. We were outside walking for nearly an hour, but we went slowly and the sun was mild that day. I had brought a lunch for the three of us to share - a good, yummy lunch, mind you - but when I got it out Grandma said, "Have you ever eaten at In-n-Out Burger?" LOL. I got the hint and asked if she felt like getting something from there for lunch instead of what I brought. She said, "yes." Though, when we got there the only thing she wanted was a chocolate shake. I'm sure that having her full dentures will make a difference.
Why This Blog?
As the name of blog says, this is all about helping Grandma. And this blog will help US to better help, care and love Grandma. This is a new phase for our extended family - having Grandma in a retirement center - with an opportunity to really serve Grandma with our time, our attention.
1) After each visit (or phone call) you make to Grandma make a post in this blog.
2) Tell what you did with her.
3) What her energy level was like.
4) What her mental/emotional state was like.
5) What, if anything, she ate.
Literally, it could be a two sentence post - it doesn't need to take more than 3-4 minutes. Through reading the posts everyone contributes we will have a better picture of how Grandma is doing and what we can do to make her happy and help her feel our love.
Cambria has been great to set up the Visiting Calendar, so we know who is assigned to what days. If you don't post we will assume that you haven't been able to visit (or call) her on your assigned day.
Also, this blog is a good place to notify the family if your assigned day doesn't work for you, and to perhaps trade with another family member.
1) After each visit (or phone call) you make to Grandma make a post in this blog.
2) Tell what you did with her.
3) What her energy level was like.
4) What her mental/emotional state was like.
5) What, if anything, she ate.
Literally, it could be a two sentence post - it doesn't need to take more than 3-4 minutes. Through reading the posts everyone contributes we will have a better picture of how Grandma is doing and what we can do to make her happy and help her feel our love.
Cambria has been great to set up the Visiting Calendar, so we know who is assigned to what days. If you don't post we will assume that you haven't been able to visit (or call) her on your assigned day.
Also, this blog is a good place to notify the family if your assigned day doesn't work for you, and to perhaps trade with another family member.
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