Accentuate the Positive

Jeff and Amy visited Gram last night. They went to McDonalds with her and Harold and they had a nice dinner.

They went back to Gram's after dinner and sat and chatted a while. As they were talking Harold would bring up topics that were extremely negative. He talked about when he banned my mom from his house in Magna (yes he did do that if you didn't know) and then he talked about other members of our family and his personal issues with them. But the clincher was when he talked about how far gone he thought Gram was and how she is crazy. Jeff said that Gram hung her head and looked so ashamed when he talked about her like that. Amy had the good sense to get Jeff out of there before an argument ensued.

But I wanted to blog on this topic (even though it's not he happiest one) because I had a similar experience on one of my visits; Harold sat and bad-mouthed people in the family including Gram and I was extremely uncomfortable. I know that he is in constant pain with his stomach and that he is not happy that we moved Gram despite his protests. And if the truth be told he is not quite all there either. So the combination of all that makes him more sour than he used to be.

Jeff and I were talking and decided that the next time that situation comes up (and it will, unfortunately) we are going to ask him to change the subject and tell him not talk about those things. I think it can be said in a nice way and not disrespectfully; but firmly. And I think if we do it enough times, he might stop doing it.

So, I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else noticed the same thing. His personal issues are not the kind of thing we want to be taking back into our lives and families for sure. So, to steal the suggestion from Bing Crosby, we'll want to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. Harold Thomas.