Ashley and I visited Grandma last night. She was waiting out in the lobby for us with her coat when I got there. Ashley was on her way so I told Gram that I wanted to see the new dress she got with Megan and Chelsea. We walked back to her apartment and she took me to her closet.
First let me preface my story of the night's events by saying that I don't mean any disrespect to Grandma. I love that woman like crazy and I realize that she is struggling with things now that she might not have before. When I'm 82 I hope I'm doing as well, ya know?
Well anyway, the minute she opened her closet door I knew something was wrong. I won't go into too much detail but the sights and smells were not good. There were clothes on the floor that needed to be in her dirty clothes hamper and there were clothes that were hung back up that needed to be in there as well. So I told her that before we went to dinner I was going to throw a load of laundry in for her. She didn't like that idea and told me not to worry about it.
Ashley got there and we got Grandma's coat on and headed out the door and went to dinner. We had a fun time with her and she seemed in a good mood. She told us that she is writing her life story and she told us some of the things she was putting in there about the day she was baptized. When we were heading home Gram said that there were a few things she needed from the store and we stopped at Smiths. She was going to give me money for them but I reminded her that she hadn't brought her wallet and told her I would get them and she could pay me back.
We got back to Coventry and there was a really fun performance going on (some fiddlers and guitarists and mandalin players all playing old time country and blue grass... we walked in on their rendition of Dolly Parton's "Coat of Many Colors".) I asked Ashley to grab Grandma a chair and sit and watch the rest of the concert with her while I went down to her apartment and got a load of laundry in the washer. As soon as the soiled clothes were out of there her apartment smelled SO much better. I noticed that she has quite a few really strong smelling air fresheners in her apartment but they really weren't needed once we got the laundry and some of the garbage out.
Once the concert was over I was worried that Gram would be mad that I had done her laundry but all of that was forgotten in the frantic hunt for her wallet. We looked all over her apartment and it wasn't there. She kept saying that she had it at dinner and Ashley and I (who didn't ever see her wallet in her hand) kept telling her no, she hadn't brought it and it must be around somewhere. We searched and searched, even in the lobby, thinking she might have left it there while she was waiting for us. We checked the dining room and everywhere else we could think of. She was really upset and we didn't know what to do. I called my mom and she said that she would call Harold and he could help her in the morning. So we went ahead and said good-bye. Ashley stopped by the laundry room to move it through to the dryer while I helped Gram get her pillbox refilled. Ashley got to her car and decided to look around just in case she really had brought her wallet with her and what do you know... there it was wedged between the seats. So she wasn't crazy after all, she really did have it! She was SO happy that we found it and I learned that 1) I need to pay better attention to what she has and what she's doing when I visit and 2) just because Gram's confused some of the time doesn't mean she's confused all of the time.
The other thing I found is that Grandma needs our help a little more in some of her cleanliness areas. I know that Aunt Kathy is mainly the one that gathers up her clothes and makes sure her clothes and apartment are clean and tidy. But in between when cleaners come, we might need to help out as well (Jen is really good at this in her visits as well and I'm sure the rest of you that visit help out where you see help is needed.) I am thinking when we visit that if we could take a quick look around to see if something is not good, we can help things stay nice. If there is a messy situation going on in one of the rooms, we need to get it taken care of as soon as possible so that it doesn't turn into Grandpa Anderson's apartment (for those of you that were there when we cleaned his place, you know what I'm talking about.) If you do see something and you can't get to it, we should just make Dave, Kathy, or Colleen aware so that help can be provided. For instance last night while looking in the couch cushions for Gram's wallet, I noticed that her couch has a lot of stains on it (chocolate mostly) and has not a great smell. So I called mom and she is having Coit clean it on Saturday. Just things like that...
All right family, our darling Grandma is doing really well and as her needs change, we will be there for her. I hope those of you that visit will stick a quick comment out here so that we will all know how best to help her. Love you!
Oh my heavens, cleaning out Grandpa's apartment was one of the worst things I've ever had to do! When Andrew and I carried his mattress out, well, I'll just say I've never been so happy to have Andrew with me!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am glad you had a fun night with her. And that you noted that we should be aware of her place. I certainly can do better at that, I just pick her up and head out the door. Thanks Camber!