Grumpy Goose...

I went to visit Grams on Monday night (the 7th). Chels didn't accompany me because of the bad snow storm, we decided it was best that she head home before the weather or traffic got too bad. Anyway, I left work a little early in hopes that I would catch her before she went to the cafeteria. I got to her place at about 4:50 and the nice guy at the front desk said she hadn't gone into the cafeteria yet. I headed down the hall to her apartment and knocked.

She opened the door with a big grin and said "Well hello!" I stepped in and gave her a hug and told her I was excited to be there. She then stepped back, and with a frown on her face said "Harold isn't here and he hasn't called me all day." I said that it was snowing really bad and that the storm had just hit, so he probably wasn't going to come tonight.

She told me she was hungry and wanted to go to dinner. We stayed in this time because of the storm. I wasn't hungry, so I sat with her while she ate her chicken, asparagus, and rice. Of course a root beer and chocolate ice cream were part of the meal as well. She ate quite a bit of her food, and she smelled like she had taken a bath that day, so all was good on that front.

All she did during dinner was complain about Harold. I finally stopped her and said that if he is there she complains to me that she wants him to leave, if he isn't there then she complains that he never comes, so what did she really want? That took her back, and she said she just wanted to know when he was coming and going. I suggested that she setup a schedule with him (as I do every time) and she said "You go back to the room and call him," while handing me her keys. I laughed and told her "No." We went back and forth on that for a while. I won in the end, and we both went back to her room to call him. I dialed the phone for her and then handed it over.

Harold didn't seem too happy on the phone, and Grams wasn't too happy to be talking to him either, but at least she found out that he wasn't planning to come spend the night. She hung up and kept complaining so I finally said "What can I do to help you feel better?" She replied "Nothing." I said that if that was the case then I would leave her be for the night. She said that sounded fine to her so I left.

All in all I was with her for about an hour. Sadly it seems that she is 50/50 these days. I will have one month where she is good old Grams just joking and playing around. Then it seems the next month I am met by a grumpy goose. Hopefully we can figure out a solution to Harold's schedule that will help her calm down. Any suggestions?....

A Night filled with Drama...

Ashley and I visited Grandma last night. She was waiting out in the lobby for us with her coat when I got there. Ashley was on her way so I told Gram that I wanted to see the new dress she got with Megan and Chelsea. We walked back to her apartment and she took me to her closet.

First let me preface my story of the night's events by saying that I don't mean any disrespect to Grandma. I love that woman like crazy and I realize that she is struggling with things now that she might not have before. When I'm 82 I hope I'm doing as well, ya know?

Well anyway, the minute she opened her closet door I knew something was wrong. I won't go into too much detail but the sights and smells were not good. There were clothes on the floor that needed to be in her dirty clothes hamper and there were clothes that were hung back up that needed to be in there as well. So I told her that before we went to dinner I was going to throw a load of laundry in for her. She didn't like that idea and told me not to worry about it.

Ashley got there and we got Grandma's coat on and headed out the door and went to dinner. We had a fun time with her and she seemed in a good mood. She told us that she is writing her life story and she told us some of the things she was putting in there about the day she was baptized. When we were heading home Gram said that there were a few things she needed from the store and we stopped at Smiths. She was going to give me money for them but I reminded her that she hadn't brought her wallet and told her I would get them and she could pay me back.

We got back to Coventry and there was a really fun performance going on (some fiddlers and guitarists and mandalin players all playing old time country and blue grass... we walked in on their rendition of Dolly Parton's "Coat of Many Colors".) I asked Ashley to grab Grandma a chair and sit and watch the rest of the concert with her while I went down to her apartment and got a load of laundry in the washer. As soon as the soiled clothes were out of there her apartment smelled SO much better. I noticed that she has quite a few really strong smelling air fresheners in her apartment but they really weren't needed once we got the laundry and some of the garbage out.

Once the concert was over I was worried that Gram would be mad that I had done her laundry but all of that was forgotten in the frantic hunt for her wallet. We looked all over her apartment and it wasn't there. She kept saying that she had it at dinner and Ashley and I (who didn't ever see her wallet in her hand) kept telling her no, she hadn't brought it and it must be around somewhere. We searched and searched, even in the lobby, thinking she might have left it there while she was waiting for us. We checked the dining room and everywhere else we could think of. She was really upset and we didn't know what to do. I called my mom and she said that she would call Harold and he could help her in the morning. So we went ahead and said good-bye. Ashley stopped by the laundry room to move it through to the dryer while I helped Gram get her pillbox refilled. Ashley got to her car and decided to look around just in case she really had brought her wallet with her and what do you know... there it was wedged between the seats. So she wasn't crazy after all, she really did have it! She was SO happy that we found it and I learned that 1) I need to pay better attention to what she has and what she's doing when I visit and 2) just because Gram's confused some of the time doesn't mean she's confused all of the time.

The other thing I found is that Grandma needs our help a little more in some of her cleanliness areas. I know that Aunt Kathy is mainly the one that gathers up her clothes and makes sure her clothes and apartment are clean and tidy. But in between when cleaners come, we might need to help out as well (Jen is really good at this in her visits as well and I'm sure the rest of you that visit help out where you see help is needed.) I am thinking when we visit that if we could take a quick look around to see if something is not good, we can help things stay nice. If there is a messy situation going on in one of the rooms, we need to get it taken care of as soon as possible so that it doesn't turn into Grandpa Anderson's apartment (for those of you that were there when we cleaned his place, you know what I'm talking about.) If you do see something and you can't get to it, we should just make Dave, Kathy, or Colleen aware so that help can be provided. For instance last night while looking in the couch cushions for Gram's wallet, I noticed that her couch has a lot of stains on it (chocolate mostly) and has not a great smell. So I called mom and she is having Coit clean it on Saturday. Just things like that...

All right family, our darling Grandma is doing really well and as her needs change, we will be there for her. I hope those of you that visit will stick a quick comment out here so that we will all know how best to help her. Love you!

Hey Good Lookin'...Whattcha Got Cookin'...

Meg and I spent tonight with Grams. When we arrived at Coventry she and Harold were eating dinner with one of their friends. Grams (much to my surprise) was not eating a grilled cheese sandwich, but instead was eating ham-fried-rice and orange chicken. She ate almost every bite and then we took her chocolate ice cream back to her room and decided that we would hit the mall to look for a new dress.

We asked her what kind of a dress she wanted and she said she didn't want a skirt and a top, she wanted a one-piece dress. We went to Dillard's and headed up the escalators. Grams was in a fabulous mood and we were all laughing so hard that we had to stop on several occasions so Grams could catch her breath.

I've never been shopping with Grams, so I didn't know exactly what to point out to her. I soon discovered that when she didn't like what I was holding up she wouldn't say anything, she would just look the dress up and down and then look me straight in the eyes with this look on her face that seemed to say "You honestly think I would wear that?"

After a few minutes she found a two-piece dress suit that she liked (even though she said she didn't want a dress that was separates....funny Grams...) and she decided she would try it on. While she was in the dressing room Meg and I each grabbed a dress that we wanted her to try on and pretty much forced her to try them on. Meg had to help her figure out how to put on one of the dresses and I could hear them in the dressing room laughing their heads off as Meg tried to get the dress untwisted and over Grams' head. They finally figured it out and Grams came out to model for me...she was shocked that she liked the dress as much as she did....here she is:

She then tried on the other dress we picked out for her. Here she is modeling again (she was pretty bashful because Meg and I kept saying how pretty she looked):

She ended up buying the grey dress and was very happy that we talked her in to trying it on. I loved her in the black dress as well...so she just might be getting it from me and Meg on her next birthday.

After we purchased the dress we stopped by See's candies to get some chocolates:

(And if you are wondering, yes, Grams is missing one of her top teeth. She isn't sure when it happened and she has no idea where the tooth is. I asked her if she swallowed it and she said she very well could have...who knows? Also, I know my Mom is going to look at that picture and wonder what happened to her hair...well, we made her try on a lot of dresses and each time we took another dress on and off it got a little worse. I promise her hair was done when we picked her up :)

So all in all it was a very fun night. We had a blast hanging out with Grams and Harold was in a very good mood as well. Hopefully the good cheer continues!

(Oh, and on another side note...Grams told Meg and I several times how much she loves Sunday dinners at Dave's house. She also enjoys feeding Mr. Mud some of her food scraps under the table :)

The Miracle on 23rd East

I just want to thank everyone for doing this little project with Gram. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but she is almost back to her old self.

When I went to pick her up for our dinner date, she was dressed (and not in the red suit) and her hair was done. She had on new earrings and her jacket. I invited Harold to come with us but she wanted to do a girl's night.

I took her to Hires because I know that she is big into rootbeer lately and also that they had grilled cheese sandwiches. Our conversation in the car was so fun and pleasantly surprising; we didn't talk about the same things over and over like usual. She was cohereant and happy and joking around. When we got to Hires she decided that she wanted fish and chips and not grilled cheese. Then we joked and laughed and reminisced. I drove her home and was just so happy that we'd had such a great night.

I called my mom on my way home and told her what a great changed I had noticed and that I hoped it would continue. She told me about Gram's visit with Dr. Nelson the previous Thursday. The last time she'd seen Dr. Nelson he had asked her questions (What year is it? Who is the president? What's your address?) and to all of them she had answered that she didn't know. This time when Dr. Nelson asked her these questions she had a smart answer for each one (When he asked who was president she said Barrack Obama and that she was a democrat... good old Gram!)

Mom was surprised at the change too and asked Dr. Nelson if it was her new medication that was making such a positive difference. He said no, that medicine would help but it wouldn't cause such a dramatic change in such a short period of time. And then with tears in his eyes he said that he felt the change was due to having her family around her. He said how our visits and calls and time had made a change for the better in her health.

I just wanted to thank all of you (the ones that read the blog and the ones that don't) for all you are doing. I know that we are all busy with work, kids, church, and everything else but taking a day here and there to get with Gram is making her better. I know that people are doing lots for her, more than we know or hear about and I really appreciate it and I know she does too.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and I will see you for the Magna house clean-up!

An Outing to the Local Reams....

When I walked into Coventry last night I went up to the desk. The nice guy there told me that Grams was in the dining room. I walked in to see that she and Grandpa were both there having dinner together. They were sitting in silence and were quite far apart. I didn't eat while I was there, but chatted with them as they finished up. Grams had ordered what looked like some sort of stuffed pork and mashed potatoes. I was glad to see it wasn't grilled cheese. She told me her mouth still bothers her, but she is noticing a huge difference since she got her new teeth.

She turned and whispered (as only Grams can whisper) that she needed to get out and away from Harold for a bit. It's a good thing Grandpa has a hard time hearing, anyone with normal hearing that was within a 10 mile radius could have heard her. :) And people wonder why we're all so dang loud...

Grandpa said he was going to stay in the dining room for a while, so we girls should go shopping and have a good time. As we walked to her room to get her jacket, Grams told me that she hasn't been happy with Harold lately. And that most nights she would rather be alone then have him there. I was surprised to hear that since the last time I visited she had no intention of ever sleeping there alone.

Anyway, we went down the street to the Reams and got the few things that were on her list. Everything she had on there was new, she wanted: stockings, stationary, chocolate, and some unmentionables. :) I limited the number of things she was putting in the cart, like her beloved chocolate bars. I only let her get three, even though she was worried she wouldn't get back to the store soon enough to get more. I assured her she would. We looked at some baking magazines, and laughed about some of the things we saw around the store. The outing was definitely the highlight of the night.

We got back to her room and she asked me to come sit by her on the couch. She held my hand and we watched the news on mute as Harold sat next to her zoned into the tv as well. I finally asked why on earth we were watching the news on mute, and especially since there were no subtitles running along the bottom. How did they know what was going on! Grandpa didn't respond, Grams seemed to let on that Harold liked it that way. I could barely hold in my laughter, I don't know how they know what is going on, maybe they are studying the art of lip-reading, I'm sure that's it.

Sorry I'm so long winded, I promise this is the closing paragraph. I just wanted to note that Grandpa never tried to talk about the family around me, I was glad of that. And that I think Grams could use some reminders that she needs to bathe daily. I guess she hates them now, but she wasn't her normal cleanly self. I'm not sure how to go about it, my mom says she gets very offended if you bring it up. Any ideas?

There you go... I'm finally done!

Accentuate the Positive

Jeff and Amy visited Gram last night. They went to McDonalds with her and Harold and they had a nice dinner.

They went back to Gram's after dinner and sat and chatted a while. As they were talking Harold would bring up topics that were extremely negative. He talked about when he banned my mom from his house in Magna (yes he did do that if you didn't know) and then he talked about other members of our family and his personal issues with them. But the clincher was when he talked about how far gone he thought Gram was and how she is crazy. Jeff said that Gram hung her head and looked so ashamed when he talked about her like that. Amy had the good sense to get Jeff out of there before an argument ensued.

But I wanted to blog on this topic (even though it's not he happiest one) because I had a similar experience on one of my visits; Harold sat and bad-mouthed people in the family including Gram and I was extremely uncomfortable. I know that he is in constant pain with his stomach and that he is not happy that we moved Gram despite his protests. And if the truth be told he is not quite all there either. So the combination of all that makes him more sour than he used to be.

Jeff and I were talking and decided that the next time that situation comes up (and it will, unfortunately) we are going to ask him to change the subject and tell him not talk about those things. I think it can be said in a nice way and not disrespectfully; but firmly. And I think if we do it enough times, he might stop doing it.

So, I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else noticed the same thing. His personal issues are not the kind of thing we want to be taking back into our lives and families for sure. So, to steal the suggestion from Bing Crosby, we'll want to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don't mess with Mr. Harold Thomas.

Halloween Carnival

I walked into Coventry on Wednesday afternoon to a smell that was not 'Halloweenish' at all. You know, pumpkin, caramel, apples....nope, none of those frangrances. There was No Doubt that somewhere, someone was getting a Permanent. Dave, Colleen and I grew up in a home where that spell could be frequent during the time there was a Beauty Shop in our house. I walked up the stairs to the in-house hair salon. Yep, it was Hilda Thomas at the hair dressers.

However, her 1:00 pm appointment lasted much longer than she thought. She was not done until 4:00, so we missed Relief Society/Priesthood. I told her that she would need to schedule it on a different day next time, but she seemed a bit pleased with herself that she had missed it. She is getting a little more upbeat about it though, since "that lady from the Relief Society is here. I think she lives here", Grandma told me.

A woman who makes wonderful handmade chocolates was in the lobby. By the time I got there Grandma had already given the lady $20 and said "Fill up a bag with $20 worth." She would have gone back to purchase again many more times if I would not have been there. I reminded her that she had two bags and that was enough. The Chocolate Lady returns in November and December. Better lock Grandma in her room that day.

The Halloween Carnival was not what was expected.....at least for the kids. It wasn't a Carnival. Just a Halloween meal with a musical program. Greta (a cat) and Lily (a fairy) came with me and Chantelle brought Kallie (a ladybug) and Nathan (a bear, I think.) He didn't have the hood on but was so adorable as were the girls. The kids were disappointed. I will do my homework next time to find out if the event will be worth coming for the little ones.

We went back to Grandma's room where she and I gave the kids some Treats. Just before I left with a large bag of laundry to do Dave and Kelsey came to watch some of the Jazz game with her. It was a day that kept her busy.